A Warrior Doesn’t Judge
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” - The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Neibuhr
How we hold the handle of the sword is akin to how we handle ourselves. In Japanese swordsmanship, gripping the sword is referred to as tenouchi (手の内) and they say it should be done as if we are “holding an egg.” If we hold an egg too strongly, it will break. If we hold it too weak, it will fall out and break. The strength of one’s grip has to be balanced to hold it properly and transmit its power appropriately. This teaching can be applied to life as well. By far, the greatest villain in life is self-judgment. In striving to grasp on to an ideal, we often go to war with ourselves and stress out about things, people and circumstances which aren’t within our power to change. This mistaken perspective can cause undue stress and lead to us quitting. Sometimes, this incorrect mindset about self-improvement comes about because of how dojo’s are designed. Typically, most are geared towards forging our spirits and bringing out our best, but this generally means that someone is pointing out all of our mistakes and weak points so that we can improve upon them. The problem is that we can accidentally take these external criticisms and turn them into internal judgments. As an anonymous person once said, “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.” Thus, like gripping the sword carefully, maintaining perspective and not taking things personally enables us to not judge ourselves and without judgment we can begin to move through life well. Budo training isn’t about attaining perfection - it’s about the movement of change. Going with the flow teaches us to change the things we can and let go of the things we can’t and that’s why a warrior doesn’t judge.
Today’s goal: Don’t beat yourself up. Change the things you can and let go of the things you can’t.