Aikido: the balance of perfection vs. imperfection.
In today’s more, more, more society, we are conditioned to accumulate, work harder, or strive for more. Every social media influencer gives us 1o more ways to be better and get more work done. Aikido is no different. On the surface, Aikido is the pursuit of perfection: perfection of the body and the self. However, on a deeper level, it is a balance of perfection and imperfection.
Someone asked me, “Shouldn’t we be working towards perfection in our Aikido training?” The answer is not yes or no. The answer is “it depends.” It depends on what our natural personality is. If you are a person who lacks determination, work ethic, or sticktoitiveness, then yes you should try to be a little bit more perfect. If, on the other hand, you are a person who is driven and has the tendency to overwork, then you should strive for a little bit more imperfect.
Think about from the point of view of “stance” or kamae (構え). In Aikido, we are supposed to be standing in hanmi (半身) with one leg forward and one leg back. In hanmi, the front leg is bent, and the back leg is straight. Most think that this means that the back leg is pushing against the front leg but that is only half of it. The front leg is also pushing against the back leg. Standing with this idea in mind creates something called tensegrity which is a structural principle that uses a balance of tension and compression to create stability. However, this is not solely static. It is dynamic tension and thus our stance, in an ever so slight way, is going in and out of imperfection and perfection. It needs imperfection or a pull to create a shift in order to move. It needs perfection for stability to issue or absorb power. Neither can exist without the other.
In class, there is also this dynamic tension between perfection and imperfection. We should be striving for self-perfection but at the same time we should be allowing ourselves and others to be imperfect. Pretty much every day, there will be people that irritate us. Their mere presence can cause us discomfort and thus we want to confront and change them or just avoid them altogether. We should do neither. A quote attributed to Carl Jung explains it best: "What we hate in others is what we hate in ourselves.” Thus, those people who incite us, irritate us, or cause us discomfort with their irritable attitudes, undesirable behaviors or imperfections are nothing more than the signpost pointing us in the direction towards mastery. If you could only see it as such, those people are a gift from the universe. They are teaching us where we need to put in the work. They show us where we either need to be focusing our self-perfection on or where we need to be a little more self-imperfect.
In Aikido, we are supposed to be learning non-violence. What that means is that we have to learn to give compassion and empathy rather than resort to violence. Remember, there are many forms of violence but basically violence is doing something to someone which causes them harm. Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive darkness; Light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; Love can do that.” Don’t try to change others, only try to find the balance within yourself between striving to be perfect but at the same time allowing yourself or others to be imperfect. Aikido is a practice and thus it is a balance between perfection and imperfection.
Today’s goal: Give grace. No one’s got it all figured out - not even you.
Watch this video on perfectionism even if you don’t have ADHD