“One must try, everyday, to expand one's limits.”
- Mas Oyama, Founder of Kyokyushinkai Karate
The best martial artists always try their best. In Japanese, one way to say, “to try one’s best” is funtoudoryoku (奮闘努力). On this day, four years ago, Steve Shaw passed away. When I think of Steve, I remember that he was one of those people who always tried to do their best. In Steve’s last email to me he was talking about moving up to the high school level and he wrote, "I have tried very hard to be patient with myself in the transition, but I still am not where I want to be. That's one of the ways I know it is a worthy endeavor.” Today, “trying” is frowned upon as if it is some sort of negative affirmation. Whenever a person says, “I’ll try my best” someone always corrects them like a 5th grade English teacher and says, “Uh, don’t you mean you will do your best?” The other day, I read a web article on Psychology Today, where someone stated, “As soon as we say that we are "trying" to do something, we build into our intention the potential for failure, or, at the very least, limited success. When we say that we are "doing" something, it sets us up to succeed right out of the gate.” Yoda, himself, also famously stated in the Empire Strikes Back, “Do or do not. There is no try.” I get it, from today’s standard of self-help, “trying” can set us up for failure. The problem with this stance is that no one succeeds at everything that they do and thus some things naturally result as a try. This “only do” mentality can set us up for low self-esteem or an aversion to the possibility of negative outcomes in the future. For me, when I think of trying vs. doing, I think that everyone is doing their best, but a good martial artist is trying to be better. To try means “to make an attempt or effort to do something.” None of us starts out as a master nor are there any prodigies. Therefore, every success begins as a try. When we only “do” and don’t “try,” we set up an expectation that we should succeed in everything that we do. With this mentality, a person can think, “If I am not going to win, I am not going to even try.” This sets us up to never step out of our comfort zone unless we are sure that we are going to win or that we are going to do something well. People above the age of 40 hate participation trophies. I get it, I hate it too. However, what the participation trophy does is that it creates a positive feeling about one’s effort regardless of the outcome. This sets up the young person to try things out in the future without the past negative memory of a grown person ridiculing them for coming in last. I saw this in full effect the other day. Every year, we help out at the local Zen temple and pound mochi, and people come by and watch. I noticed that people over the age of 40 will never try it out, but all the young people jump right in and give it a try. With this observation, I posit that the 40+ year old person worries about their performance and doesn’t like to “look stupid” or fail, but the younger person has learned to try their best and just have fun. That is the mentality that I think of when I think of Steve. Steve always had this huge grin even when he was supposed to be serious which used to drive Furuya Sensei crazy. I like to think that he grinned because he knew that he was trying his best and that he was just trying to have fun. Steve is sorely missed but I am sure that he is up in heaven trying to do his best, but still driving Sensei crazy. Be like Steve and just do your best. Remember, everyone is doing their best, but a martial artist is trying to be better.
Today’s goal: In everything you do, just try your best.