“Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.” - Morihei Ueshiba
The best martial artists understand the value of defeat. Most people, even seasoned practitioners, think that the martial arts are about winning and losing. However, the goal of the martial arts is not to vanquish our foes or to even win. The true goal of martial arts training is to change - change into better people. Therefore, losing is almost a necessity. In losing, we receive the two greatest gifts: humility and graciousness. We can exhibit humility and grace in winning but we cannot learn humility or grace in winning. Therefore, the only way to learn humility and grace and ultimately become a better person is to lose. Author Steven Aitchison wrote, “People change for two main reasons: either their minds have been opened or their hearts have been broken.” Understanding Aitchison’s quote, our hearts have to break in order for our minds to be opened. Interestingly, the Japanese kanji 心 is interchangeably used as either “heart” or “mind” depending on the context and lends itself to this idea of the heartbreaking creates an opening in the mind. Understanding this, the idea is that a person who has never lost will be incapable of showing true humility or true graciousness. We have to lose in order to learn the value of humility and when we have learned that then we naturally come off as being gracious. In most cases, we cannot be truly gracious without a sense of humility. When people watch Aikido or just about any other martial art, they are naturally only focused on the nage (投げ) or the one “doing the technique.” It is only human nature to focus on the hero as we identify with their dominance or confidence which we desire to have in our own lives. However, being the nage is the culmination of ability but to get there we must first focus on being the uke (受け) or the one who “receives the technique.” The reason why is because to take ukemi (受け身) or “receive the technique” is to be on the losing end of the collaboration. By taking the ukemi, we are unknowingly teaching ourselves humility as we not only accept but perfect the losing side of the partnership. In the martial arts, it is said that “winning too much is a bad habit.” Winning too often or being the nage too much is bad for us because it feeds our egos and that is why losing is so crucial to our growth in the martial arts. Perhaps that is why in the martial arts we are forced to take ukemi because to take ukemi is the physical practice of higher conscious concepts like humility, perseverance, or courage just to name a few. Someone once said, “Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.” Understanding this, winning, or losing is not really the point. In the martial arts and in life, we are all searching for a way to positively experience the ups and the downs. Losing teaches us so much more than winning but the thing which all the best martial artists are trying to really lose is their egos and that is perhaps why O’Sensei said, “Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.” Martial artists aren’t losers, but they understand the value of defeat.
Today’s goal: Nelson Mandela once said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.”
Watch this video featuring Denzel Washington to better understand losing