The best Aikidoists focus on finesse. In Japanese “to finesse” the technique is gikou (技巧). Finesse takes time but if we can learn to not force things then our lives become less difficult or wildly less painful.

When I was younger, I wanted to be a motorcycle mechanic. During my apprenticeship, whenever I would struggle and start to get rough with a piece of equipment or try forcing a part in, the head mechanic would shout out, “If it doesn’t fit, force it!” and start laughing with all the other mechanics. Every time I see someone get rough or force something, I remember that old biker mechanic, who coincidentally, was missing a few fingers because he told me that he used to force things too until he learned to use technique instead of brute strength.   

In class, there is a tendency for mid-level students to kojiireru (抉じ入れる) or “force” their techniques. This is just the stage that every student has to get through. At this level, faster means rougher, slower means rougher, turning your hip means rougher, etc. It is almost comical because no matter what correction you give them, they can only hear or only do rougher. Interestingly, another way to say “force it” in Japanese is gorioshi (ゴリ押し). Gorioshi is a half japanized word where oshi means to push and gori might be short for gorilla. Therefore, those that “force it” are pushing it like a gorilla. Like a gorilla, the mid-level student can’t really hear or understand the teacher’s correction so instead they just resort to using udezumou (腕相撲) or “brute strength.” Brute strength is the hallmark of a mid-level Aikidoist. Later, after many dustups that leave us with even more bumps and bruises, students learn to calm down and focus on finessing the techniques.

Finessing the technique means that we tadashiiokonai (正しい行い) or “doing the right thing” at the right time. In every technique there is a specific time that requires a specific amount of leverage. Outside of that time and place, we run the risk of having to use brute force. What separates the beginner from the expert is the expert’s ability to rely on technique over brute force. There is no easy way to get through this phase in our training - it takes patience and humility. Patience is the price that we pay to gain mastery. Forcing our techniques could cause our partners to get injured or at the very least be uncomfortable as we force our way through it. Humility is realizing that we have done something wrong and have the ability to apologize. When we have acquired humility, then we will have cleared this stage in our training. From my own experience, I know that patience and humility both take time to cultivate. Until then, “If it doesn’t fit, force it.”

In Aikido and life, everything we do is about finesse from dealing with our co-workers to throwing our partners down. No one wants to be on the receiving end of someone trying to force it, no matter what it is. The best Aikidoists have gained the skill to realize that if something doesn’t fit, we calm down, take a breath, and finesse it.

Today’s goal: Everything requires patience. Slow down, take a breath and don’t force it.

Watch this video about not forcing things.