Editor’s note: This article translated by Santiago Almaraz Sensei originally appeared in the Spanish language magazine El Budoka. Read it here in Spanish: Respeta A Tu Oponente
礼に始まり礼に終わる
Rei ni hajimari, rei ni owaru
Everything begins and ends with respect
In the modern mindset, budo is a sport, and hence we hitonomi (一飲み) or “think nothing of our opponent.” Most times, we see the person standing in front of us as nothing more than our prey or a hurdle to traverse towards our glory.
In the days of the samurai it was different. Samurai held their opponents in high esteem and almost revered them. The opponent was respected because to the samurai, there are no “enemies.” A samurai doesn’t get to choose their opponent. The generals or the lords draw the battle lines and make the wars and it is the samurai’s job to wage it.
Despite being the pinnacle of Japanese society, the job of the samurai wasn’t glorious. In fact, to the Japanese, a warrior was thought to be a distasteful profession because they had to deal with blood and death which were both thought to be aku (悪) or “impure.” Dealing or touching impurity in Japanese is a bad omen which is supposed to bring about misfortune. Thus, from a samurai standpoint, this person who faces them was just as unlucky as themselves. They both have drawn the unlucky straw and have resigned themselves to their fates but at the same time, they both take their responsibilities seriously and so they both have developed themselves to be worthy opponents.
This sentiment is illustrated in D.T. Suzuki’s book Zen and The Samurai. Suzuki wrote: “Let me make a point about [Hojo] Tokimune’s spiritual consolation of the dead. The Engakuji monastery was a monument of both fallen Japanese and Mongolian warriors. The idea that both friends and enemies when dead are to be equally treated with respect originated with Buddhism for it teaches that we are all of the same Buddha nature and while living in this world of particulars may espouse a variety of causes and principles. But these controversies vanish when we pass from these individual existences to the other shore of transcendental wisdom. From the samurai point of view, the idea of loyalty and sincerity is emphasized more than anything else. Enemies are as faithful to their cause as we are to ours and this sentiment when genuine is to be revered wherever and however displayed. Hence one monument dedicated to the spirits of friends and foes.”
The samurai believed in this idea that death stalks us all and that sooner or later each of us will succumb to our fate. This begs the question, “How do you want to live out this moment?” The samurai desires to live their lives with honor and die without shame. Therefore, they try to live their lives to to the fullest knowing they are going to die. The samurai's life is one of servitude and thus they believe in seihakatakushihayasushi (生は難く死は易し) or “Living is difficult; dying is easy.” Thus two warriors meet with an unspoken pact: “Let’s live out this moment to its fullest.” This fullness is what the Japanese refer to as ichigo ichie (一期一会) or “To live a lifetime in one meeting.” These two warriors, have been simultaneously preparing themselves all their lives to meet an honorable death together. This is referred to as gyokusai (玉砕) or “an honorable death” but that is too juvenile of a definition. Gyokusai is the beauty of “to die trying.” That is why gyokusai is also used in love when a person professes their love but is rejected. There is a beauty in a person’s unadulterated honesty despite the possibility of rejection or death. Realizing the gravity of the situation, the samurai respects their opponent instead of despising them.
The samurai uses their opponent for motivation. Not in a hateful way. Motivating oneself with hate or emotion shows a low level of ability. The samurai motivated themselves out of honor and respect. The Japanese say, aiteshidai (相手次第) or that “we determine our attitude according to our opponent.” Therefore, if we are able to see past the veneer of a person trying to harm us and realize that they are no different than us, then we can respect their commitment, sacrifice and determination.
That is why in the Japanese martial arts, they say, “rei ni hajimari, rei ni owaru” (礼に始まり礼に終わる) which means “Everything begins and ends with respect.” Most think respect is encompassed in the act of bowing before and after practice or competition. However, as we can see, the roots of respect go way deeper than the act of bowing or saying, “please” or “thank you.”
Respecting others is a reflection of ourselves. We show respect and engage in etiquette because that shows our level of development. A person who can only see the other person as an enemy or as fodder for our success is an empty person.
When talking about a tsuba or “sword guard,” Furuya Sensei once wrote, “The skull is a poetic allusion to Musashino or the plains of Musashi where a ferocious battle took place and years later, all that remains of these glorious Samurai who fought in this battle are their bones bleaching in the sun. It is said that there is a special hell where warriors who die a violent death in battle go to which is a kind of hell called Ashura (阿修羅). From this scene, many famous poems were written. One line from a great poem is ‘all that is left of these brave warriors.’ And another line is ‘warriors are indeed a sad lot!’ What this means is that warriors should never glorify themselves because their job is the killing of others and it is not a job to be proud of because it will always lead them to Ashura. As Aikido warriors, we must always be humble and modest in everything that we do.”
Despite what the movies tell us, most samurai duels ended in aiuchi (相討ち) or “mutual defeat.” In the martial arts, the surest road to defeat is to over-value our own skills and underestimate our opponent’s. Thus, we are always supposed to think that our opponent is of at least the same or greater skill than ourselves. This forces us to train and develop ourselves. Thus, in a sense, that person who opposes us made us greater. So, there is a beautiful sadness when two great warriors developed themselves to their fullest potential only to die poetically together. Understanding this, our opponents always deserve our praise and respect.
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