From the Aikido Center of Los Angeles’ Aiki Dojo Message - Courage to Fail
Furuya Sensei once wrote: “It is not that you lack self-confidence or ability, it is just that you are afraid of failure. You shouldn't worry about this. There is no such thing as failure until you create it in your mind and bring it into your life. It really does not exist, it is only an idea, value judgement, or sensation which simply comes and goes in your head. It does not exist in reality or in Nature. Why many worry about failure so much is that they are very much attached to failure. Why? Because failure is an easy way to absolve one's self of responsibility and commitment which we hate or find burdensome. Don't waste your time and energy on such tiresome games, move on! The only problem with failure is that, if you buy into it, it takes a little bit away from you, doesn't it? That little bit of yourself can never be taken back. So simply put the idea of failure or loss out of your mind!”
One of the interesting things that happens along the way in our Aikido training is that we develop the courage to fail.
In order to grow, we have to try new things. Attempting something new or different requires taking risks and with that risk comes the possibility of failing. Lots of times, as we become comfortable, the possibility of failure causes us not to try. However, Aikidoists know that true growth can only occur if we leave our comfort zones and try something new. No one can be 100% certain of the outcome and so, because no one knows, Aikidoists just allow it to be and focus on their own efforts.
Ultimately, regardless of the outcome, we either learn, or lose. The only way to truly lose is if we don’t grow or learn anything from the outcome, win or lose. Aikido training requires hansei (反省) or “self-reflection.” As we self-reflect, we look for what went right or what needs work. If we fail to negotiate someone’s attack and blame them, we are not learning, and the situation has a sort of negative connotation. If we get struck and reflect back on what we could have done better, then things have a more positive tone. If like begets like, then positivity will generate positivity. Thus, all we have to do is change the way we see the possibilities and failure will lose its grip on us.
If we can change how we interpret failure and give it a positive spin, then trying sans the outcome becomes about growth. If we focus on the growth, then we can learn to not only have the courage to fail but also to be furuu (奮う) “to be invigorated” by the opportunity of trying.
Thinking about outcomes in this way removes the fear of failure and on a certain level creates the courage to fail. One of the main differences between normal people and Aikido people is that the practice of Aikido teaches us to actively search for ways to improve. We never lose because we are always learning. Training teaches us to embrace the process, not the outcome. Thus, a good Aikidoist has the courage to fail.
Today’s goal: Try something new. You never know what your new normal might be.