The best Aikidoists support one another.
In Japanese, one way to say “support one another” is sasaeau (支え合う). In Aikido and in Life, every person comes to us to either teach us a lesson or test our mastery. We should support one other because one of Life’s fundamental lessons is that every person suffers and thus is in need of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness - just like we do.
Throughout our careers as Aikidoists, there will always be someone that is difficult to deal with. It is easy to avoid this person and even easier to act against them. This is not the Aikido way. The way that we should look at it is that this person is a gift from whatever higher power we believe in and sent to us to teach us or test us. The more this person irks us or tries to harm us, the more it is a lesson beckoning us to change. We must learn to change how we see this person and look beyond the presenting circumstances. Aikido does not teach us to destroy this person no matter how justified we think we are. Aikido teaches us to irimi or move into the attack. From that position, we align with them and, in most cases, are facing the same direction. This allows us to see what they see or take their perspective. On a higher level of consciousness, when we can see what they see, we can realize their suffering. If we can see that everyone suffers, we can learn to not see this person as our enemy but as a human being in need of support. When we make mistakes or act out our suffering on others, we want kindness rather than destruction. Thus, we don’t destroy those in need, we support them.
There is this great scene in 1958 movie, The Loyal 47 Ronin where the ronin are moving across territories in order to avenge the forced suicide of their leader. They are using forged papers and are caught by the person whose signature they have forged. When confronted, their leader, Oishi throws himself at this person’s mercy and tells him their real motive. Hearing about their plight, he lets them go. It’s an emotional moment and moved by his kindness, Oishi says, “Fellow samurai must support each other. We are never so keenly grateful for the kindness of others as when we have fallen on hard times.” Most times, we really only learn true gratitude when we have fallen to our lowest point, and someone shows us a bit of kindness.
Compassion is defined as “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” Because we suffer and have been there, we understand. In that moment we can choose to be the villain or hero in this person’s story. In Donald Miller’s book Hero on a Mission, he states that “heroes and villains often share a similar backstory of experiencing pain, but their fundamental difference lies in their response to that pain. A villain lets pain lead to revenge and a desire to hurt the world back, while a hero uses the pain as motivation to prevent others from suffering the same fate.” Aikidoists understand this and instead of taking it personally, we give them kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. After all this person or circumstance has been sent to us to help us become not only better Aikidoists but better human beings.
Remember, if everything happens for us, then nothing is happening to us and thus this person is a gift helping us to reach our highest level. Try to see that everyone is going through something. If we can do that, we have begun to learn Aikido. We are never so keenly grateful for the kindness of others as when we have fallen on hard times. We have been there and understand and that’s why we should support one another.
Today’s goal: As His Holiness the Dalai Lama once said, "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.”
Watch this video to better understand heroes vs. villains