Like me...

"Although I am just a human being, I just want to model myselfafter the sword - always straight, always true and very decisive. Something that doesn't have an outer obvious strength the we look for today, but something that has an inner strength which is hard to see unless you really know it and really can appreciate it." ~ Sensei

Today, we are buffeted by society's desire for gain and self-promotion.  What are we to do?  If we don't sell ourselves who will know we are good or that we have value?  This is probably one of the hardest parts about following the Way.  When I see someone's bio on the Internet and I see some bent truths it makes me feel sad for that person that they need to "pump it up" in order to maintain their relevancy.  Why can't we be accepted for who we are?  We are human beings who are wonderful, beautiful and fallible.   Here is something I use to try and keep perspective on myself.

Like me... Every person is good and doing the best that they can. Like me... Every person suffers and is going through their own stuff. Like me... Every person is human and human beings make mistakes. Every person deserves kindness, compassion and forgiveness... Just like me.

The Way is in training

"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard." - Tim Notke What does it take to become a black belt?

The other day someone called inquiring about classes.  The first thing he wanted to know was, "How long does it take to get a black belt?"  I answered, "About 5-15 years depending on how hard your train."  His next question was, "How long did it take you?"  I answered that, "That is not relevant."  He retorted, "It is for me."  He then said, "You're not going to tell me?"  I said, "No.  You should just focus on training and not the attainment of black belt."  He said, "So you're not going to tell me?"  I said, "No."  He said, "Maybe I should go someplace else then."  I said, " You can, there are many different Aikido schools around that might suit you better.  This school focuses on training and not rank."  He then hung up.

This is a typical phone call that I get about once a week.  This desire for rank could possibly be a a product of modern thinking or maybe even western thinking - I am not completely sure.  But, it is something that people today really covet.  When I was a student rank was the last thing you talked about.  Anyone who talked about it was severely chastised by Sensei.  Budo (martial arts) is not about the attainment of rank, status or wealth.  Budo is about self-development.

I want my students to be concerned with improving themselves and not with attainment or accolades.

I have uploaded a video about the 8th dan Kendo examination in Japan.  It has a passing rate of less than 1%, but for this particular test the passing rate was 0.4%.  In order to be qualified to take the test you have to have been 7th dan for at least 8 years and be at least 46 years old.  They say that 1 in 5000 people ever pass the test, but at least 2000 people challenge the test every year.  In this video they profile a guy who has taken the test 24 times.  He might have been initially concerned with attaining the rank but now it is all about his personal growth as a human being.  They say the Way is in training.  They don't say the Way is in getting promoted or attaining rank.  Please continue to train hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmLfnWwP0g0

Have patience and just practice the basics...

You want to get good at Aikido?  Sensei said, "Just be patient and practice ikkyo, nikyo, sankyo and yonkyo everyday."

Awhile back, we had this really gifted student, who was a teenager, study at our school.  He was so athletic and caught on very fast.  One of the other students told me he was studying a few other martial arts at the same time and hoped to be a professional fighter someday.  The other day he asked me, "When do we get to learn kotegaeshi?"  I said that we were currently working on other techniques such as nikyo and that we would switch later on.  Soon after, he quit.  It was sad because he had so much potential, but I don't think the monotony of the basics was what he was looking for.  Too bad, but this same scenario plays out several times a year.  This is common and part of our instant gratification society where everything is available just a click away.

At our dojo, we stress the basics and we would rather that the students know a few things well than a whole bunch of things a little.  In this case, less is more.  The more I teach, the more I realize that Sensei is right.  I wish it could be flashier.  I wish it could be something fun.  It it could be something more entertaining.  But, it is not about what I want.  It is about making you better.  Supposedly there is something hidden in each of those techniques that holds a secret to the mastery of Aikido.  If you can master ikkyo, nikyo, sankyo and yonkyo, then you will have no problem doing any other technique in Aikido.  It is as simple as that.

Every day, day in and day out just practice the basics and be patient - this alone will make you good.

How hungry are you?

There is a Japanese saying, "Himoji toki no mazui mono nashi," which means that when you are hungry, nothing is unpalatable.  Learning in the martial arts is supposed to be like that, but many times we get into a rut and seek out only what is comfortable or familiar.  Many times when I go to another school or when visitors come to my school I notice that regardless of how the technique is taught the student ends up doing it his own way.  This, in my opinion, is the surest sign of complacency. Seeking the comfort of what or how you know something is the sign that you have stopped learning.  As the proverb above implies, if you are hungry to learn then you will try to take in anything and everything.  This is an indication of a good student.  This means that the student is not only ready but also eager to learn.

When I was a student one of my classmates once complained that the instructors taught the same thing slightly different and that it was hard to catch on.  I think this is true at all dojos and schools all over the world.  The problem lies within the student and not with the teaching.  My friend's discriminating palate disabled him from learning and only leads to frustration and confusion.  If you are thinking that the problem lies with the teacher, then you are looking at it from the wrong point of view.

If you are hungry, you will do anything to catch the technique, but not only that you will try anything as well.  In the old days there was a lot of "no-teach" teaching going on where the teacher demonstrated the technique or sometimes even just called it out and the students were supposed to learn it.  This "no-teach" style forced the student out of his comfort zone and to become hypersensitive to what and how something was being taught.  With that hunger the student becomes stronger and better at the techniques.  He becomes better not because the teacher is/was better but because the student is  hungry.

Please stay hungry...

There is no time to get ready so you must always be ready

In sports, you analyze your opponent, build a strategy and execute it.  This happens of a period of time.  In the martial arts, this happens in an instant. In the old days martial artists never gave exhibitions and there were never audiences to their matches.  Public displays of your skills came about during the Meiji era when schools became public but prior to this time public displays of your skills were always forbidden and the only time an opponent got to see not only your ability level or your skills is when they challenged you to a duel.

When a potential opponent approached you on the street, you had to be able to ascertain not only what style they studied (and people rarely studied more than one style), how long they have been studying, who their teacher was and what their ability level was.  All this had to be done in a blink of an eye because there are no second chances.  When a opponent came and challenged you to a duel at your school it was customary for them to announce all that information prior to the bout.  You would announce your name, your style, your school, your teacher and then your rank or years of study (most schools never gave out rank).

Martial artist then had to be well read as to what each style was capable of.  In the movie The Grandmaster, before Ip Man goes to duel with the master from the North he goes and sees all the masters from the South.  When they spar they show him what potential styles he may come up against so that he  won't be surprised.

Today it is fun to talk about style versus style and who might win, but in the end it comes down to the individual and how she is capable of adapting her style to the situation.  This is based on training and studying.  Today we have a wealth of information available to us.  In the old days it was primarily based on word of mouth.

When I was in Japan recently, someone asked me why Sensei wore his hakama so long and allowed it to drag.  I told him that Sensei did that to hide his foot work.  That person quizzically looked at me and said, "Oh, that's smart and old style."  To me it made perfect sense but the look on this guy's face said other wise.

The martial arts should not be treated as a sport.  There is nothing wrong with sports, but a true martial artist has a different mindset.  In the martial arts you have to be ready for anything as well as there is no time to get ready so you always have to be ready.  This require assiduous study and discipline.

What's your favorite martial arts movie?

The other day someone asked me what my favorite martial arts movie was.  This is a hard question to answer.  It might be even better to answer by genre.  The answer is that I don't have just one favorite, but rather that I am a fan of the entire martial art genre.  Maybe someday I will go through and write about why I like these movies, but that is probably an essay for each.  Nonetheless, here are some of my favorite martial arts movies that aren't in any order. Chinese The Iron Monkey starring Yu Rongguang and Donnie Yen Once Upon A Time in China series starring Jet Li The Grandmaster by Wong Kar-wai and starring Tony Leung and Zhang Ziyi. Hero starring Jet Li Twin Warriors aka Tai Chi Master starring Jet Li Come Drink with Me starring Cheng Pei-pei Ip Man starring Donnie Yen The 36th Chamber of Shaolin aka Shaolin Master Killer starring Gordon Liu The One Armed Swordsman starring Jimmy Wang Kung-Fu Panda with Jack Black Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon starring Chow Yun-fat Fist of Legend starring Jet Li

Japanese Sanshiro Sugata 1 & 2 by Akira Kurosawa Sanjuro by Akira Kurosawa and starring Toshiro Mifune Twilight Samurai starring Hiroyuki Sanada Kuro-obi (Black Belt) starring Tatsuya Naka Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa and starring Toshiro Mifune Yojimbo by Akira Kurosawa and starring Toshiro Mifune Killing Machine starring Sonny Chiba Samurai Trilogy starring Toshiro Mifune Shadow Warriors (TV series) starring Sonny Chiba Lone Wolf and Cub series starring Tomisaburō Wakayama Throne of Blood starring Toshiro Mifune Street Fighter series starring Sonny Chiba

Honorable mentions Dragon Tiger Gate starring Donnie Yen Blade starring Wesley Snipes Red Beard by Akira Kurosawa and starring Toshiro Mifune Mito Komon (TV series) starring pretty much every well known aging Japanese actor Kung-fu Hustle starring Stephen Chow Brotherhood of the Wolf starring Mark Dacascos High Kick Girl starring Tatsuya Naka The Throwdown starring Louis Koo Above the Law starring Steven Seagal (probably the only one Steven Seagal movie I would ever recommend) Vanishing Son (TV series) starring Russell Wong Kung-fu (TV series) starring David Carradine Ong Bak starring Tony Jaa Red Sun starring Toshiro Mifune The Karate Kid starring Pat Morita

Never give up on your dreams...

In the month of May you may have seen a lot of streamers with the koi or japanese carp symbol flying around Little Tokyo.  The banners were for Children's day (formerly Boys day) which is on May 5 every year. The koi is supposed to represent strength and perseverance and is s common motif seen in not only Japanese but Chinese culture too.  The main legend is that a group of koi were swimming upstream towards a waterfall.  Once they reached the end of the river at waterfall many koi became disheartened and turned back.  A group of gold koi began to try and jump to the top of the waterfall each time failing, but they kept trying.  Watching from the river bank was group of demons who mocked the unsuccessful koi and even made the waterfall higher out of spite.  After hundreds of years of trying one finally made it.  The gods were so impressed with the koi's perseverance and determination that they turned the gold koi into a dragon.

The koi symbol is a popular among the warrior class and martial arts as the symbol to never give up regardless of the odds.  The koi are often depicted swimming up a waterfall, with men or boys riding them or two koi swimming in a circle.

Irassaimase!

Whenever you go into any Japanese restaurant or any type of business in Japan for that matter you often hear the people working there shout out, "Irasshaimase!"  Irasshaimase is the customary greeting welcoming and acknowledging customers to a place of business.  You never hear "irasshaimase" when you come into a traditional Japanese martial arts dojo. A dojo doesn't have customers or patrons.  We only have students that are willing to learn.  If we create an atmosphere of business it will change not only the face of the dojo but how everything is done.

In a business, the customer is always right.  The customer gets what he pays for.  Feedback is necessary to keep the patron happy because your satsifaction is the key to success.  In business, they do all the work so as to minimize the customers efforts and to keep them happy.

In a dojo, the student is always not right.  (I am hesitant to say "wrong" because of the negative connotation).  If you approach it like a school, you get what you work for.  At the dojo, feedback only reveals what you don't know and is therefore frowned upon.  In traditional training, you satisfaction comes not from what the teacher does but more from what the student does.  At the dojo, the students do all the work to keep the dojo going.  The funny thing about the dojo is that the whole experience, atmosphere, curriculum, etc is designed with the student in mind and his development.  It just seems like its not about you but is really is.

In this day and age it is hard to maintain a separation between a business and a school.  In the eyes of todays student/customer they are the same.  Sadly, to the dojo they are completely separate and have to be.  They have to be because the dojo's biggest concern is not making money, but in developing good students.  Where would the dojo be if we allow students or potential students to dictate things like the schedule, what is being taught as well as how it's being taught.  If that were to happen, "The inmates would be running the asylum."  It is not that way because it would take too long and waste too much time, money and effort.  The best process for making students good is simply this: Listen to what the teacher says, copy what he does, don't ask questions, work hard and never give up.  This method is tried and true and has been refined over many years, decades and even centuries.

Please don't think about the dojo as a business.  It changes everything.

The enemy of all martial artists...

The enemy of all martial artists is a nice warm comfortable bed. Think about it.  Why would you get out of a perfectly nice comfy warm bed.  Nobody wants to.  I know I don't.  On one hand it is so delightfully wonderful that you could just lie there and lose the entire day there and I am sure many of us have wondered why scientitsts haven't come up with an answer for going to the bathroom or eating in bed.  Duh that's a no brainer.  On the other hand when you are not in bed, the thought of a warm comfortable bed is so inviting that we all strive for one.  The warm comfortable bed is  the metaphor for a wonderful life.  In the comfy bed everything is the way it should be - you are warm, safe, comfortable, stinky but in a nice way and surrounded by non judgmental totaly accepting pillows and blankets.  If you are lucky then maybe someone is there with you to share the awesomeness and help you order Chinese food.  If a warm bed is the glove in which evil slips its hand into then sign me up for another.

If the world is so great in a comfy cozy bed, why would you leave?  And that is why the bed is the enemy of all martial artists.

It is hard for me to advocate choosing pain over pleasure because I know that we are all human and sometimes we all need a break.  The old days are riddled with tales of martial artist going to extremes to stave off complacency.  They slept in caves, swore off wine and women, ate bugs, or did just about anything to avoid getting comfortable.  Eiji Yoshikawa's book Musashi is literally all about Miyamoto Musashi and his journey to stave off pleasure.  Miyamoto Musashi and other martial artists did this because they knew that complacency is the gateway to being unsuccessful.

The bed can be substituted for anything that we might choose in lieu of training - a nice meatball sub, a cold pint of beer, TV, hanging out with friends or anything that is comfy cozy.  I get it, but these things need to be undertaken with moderation because sometimes once they set in they are awfully hard to get out of.  We have all been there and some of us choose to get out of bed and some of us choose to stay.  Its your life and you are free to choose, but I my experience the bed can sometimes be the enemy.

I choose...

Who makes these changes?

Who makes these changes? I shoot to the right the arrow lands left I ride after a deer and find myself chased by a hog I plot to get what I want and end up in jail I dig pits to trap others and I fall in I should be suspicious of what I want

~ Jalal ad-Dīn Muhammad Rumi

Who makes these changes?  Me and me only.  I cannot control what happens to me, but I can choose what happens inside of me and what I am going to do in life.  When faced with an attacker, the classical responses are: fight, flight or freeze.  There is one more response - Aikido.

In Aikido we choose to see things differently and thus choose a different method of response.  Instead of running, freezing or fighting we harmonize with our opponent.  Although Aikido is a combat art, at its highest level mutual cooperation is its most coveted technique.  We know that all beings suffer and this person attacking us is no different.  Instead of destroying him, we show him the harmony of compassion.  To get to this high level one must train fastidiously and actively choose the path of Aikido and the way of harmony.

Your life is no different.  Are you chasing after a deer only to find yourself chased by the hog of life.  Well then, how about a change?  It is up to you, but if you fight, freeze or run away that is not Aikido.  Choose to see something that is not there.  The way out of suffering is through self reflection and awareness.  Self reflection and awareness are the fodder of choice and subsequently of change.

Therefore I choose...

To care

Greetings from Japan. Most likely the first characteristic and maybe the most important trait a teacher must have is to care.

To care about the students...

To care about how to teach...

To care about what to teach...

To care about the teachings...

To care about the art...

To care about others...

To care is to put yourself second. The word sensei might mean one who comes first but that doesn't mean that you put yourself first.  Sensei once quipped, "People don't realize that when they are served with things on a silver platter that they in turn must serve others as well."

Coincidentally caring is also the first characteristic of a student as well. Just substitute students for teachers and learn for teach. This is why the best students usually make the best teachers.

The relationship between a student and a teacher is symbiotic. The teacher thinks of the student while the student is thinking about the teacher. Each is concerned about the others burden.

This independence day weekend please enjoy your freedom. The freedom that someone else made possible for you.

You too can be a genius

"A genius! For 37 years I've practiced fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!" - Violinist Pablo de Sarasate Are "geniuses" made or born?  For me, I believe in most cases its a environment of nature being nurtured.  It is extremely easy to look at someone who is good at something and think that they are somehow a genius, but, as the quote above implies, nobody ever sees the hard work or tenacity it takes to master something.  How does one become a master or genius?  I am not really sure exactly but what I do know is that they must have a method.  Everything in life has a method and once you can learn the method, all it takes is a little bit of elbow grease.  Here is a list of problem solving techniques that one might use to master any endeavor...

Nine approaches to creative problem solving:

1. Rethink! Look at problems in many different ways.
2. Visualize! Utilize diagrams and imagery to analyze your dilemma.
3. Produce! Genius is productive.
4. Combine! Make novel combinations...
5. Form! Form relationships.
6. Opposite! Think in opposites.
7. Metaphor/simile! Think metaphorically.
8. Failure! Learning from your mistakes is one example of using failure.
9. Patience! Don't confuse inspiration with ideas.

   If you are interested in reading more about these nine approaches this list was taken from http://www.studygs.net/genius.htm

If nothing exists, do you?

Here is a famous Zen story that may or may not be true about the famous swordsman and calligrapher Yamaoka Tesshu.

Yamaoka Tesshu, as a young student of Zen, visited one master after another. He called upon Dokuon of Shokoku. Desiring to show his attainment, he said: “The mind, Buddha, and sentient beings, after all, do not exist. The true nature of phenomena is emptiness. There is no realization, no delusion, no sage, no mediocrity. There is no giving and nothing to be received.” Dokuon, who was smoking quietly, said nothing. Suddenly he whacked Yamaoka with his bamboo pipe. This made the youth quite angry. “If nothing exists,” inquired Dokuon, “where did this anger come from?”

For the US, the month of July revolves around our independence day which is on July 4th.  For martial artists, we train to attain a state of nothingness or emptiness.  Emptiness or nothingness is erroneously equated with some type of nihilism where we will reach a state of not caring.  Emptiness is quite the opposite where rather than not caring we have a deeper sense of caring and maybe even care more.  The idea of emptiness is more about attaining a state where the "you" no longer exist because of the realization of how we fit into the larger picture.  The idea of being independent is a myth.  Can you grow, harvest and cook your own food?  I know I can't.  Everything and everyone depends on one another and without this cooperation we would all perish.

Aikido is the physical representation of people living at a higher consciousness.  Think about what it means to take someone's ukemi.  By taking someone's ukemi what you are saying is, "I will sacrifice myself for you, please use me to develop yourself to a higher state or a better place."  So taking someone's ukemi is possibly what Aikido is really all about.  Every religion talks about being of service to your fellow man.  But what they aren't telling us is that when we do something for others we are being the people that we always wished we would become even if it is for just a moment.

If nothing exists, do you?  Please think of others before you think of yourselves.  If you can't, then maybe just try and take someone's ukemi until you figure it out.  It just might make the world a better place.  For if they exists, so do you.

Use it so you don't lose it

To become adept at anything takes practice.  Once we decide on what it is that we want then the two limiting factors are how much effort we are willing to put into obtaining that thing and what we are willing to sacrifice to obtain that thing. How do you put in more effort?  The obvious answer would go to class more, but the less obvious and probably more pivotal answer is how much time you put into acquiring that skill outside of class.  The formula is simple: more effort outside of class + class time = success.

For instance if you wanted to get good with the sword or bokken then you should put  more time into doing suburi (cutting practice).  One of the things Sensei would constantly advocate to us was, "Handle your weapons everyday."  Holding them, doing suburi or even carrying them around allows us to keep or gain a certain level of familiarity with that weapon.  Becoming adept with the sword means knowing not only what it can do but also what it feels like, how its balanced and what it is capable of doing.

Once you put the time into become adept at something you will be able to do things that seem utterly impossible.  But you can only do that when you put the work in.

Below I have linked a video of a young man swinging a baseball bat and he has become so adept at using it that he can do some amazing things.  I am sure this took a lot of practice. Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JF-VZE2moc

Get clarity in order to get it right

Clarification is probably the one pivotal factor in solving any problem.  Seems logical and probably easy right?  It seemingly is, but in reality getting clarification is one of the hardest things for people to do.  Most of us have experienced the waiter who takes the order by memory.  They don't want to ask questions or inquire about details because they are afraid to mess up the order.  This technique is quite impressive when it works!  Some of the time it doesn't and when it doesn't it is quite terrible.  The food comes out wrong because the person was more concerned about showing off than getting the order exactly the way the customer wanted it.  Personally, I don't care so much about their memorization prowess as much as my food coming out correctly-it's just a small pet peeve. How does one get clarity?  Clarity comes from asking the right questions.  In the beginning until we get your bearings we will have to ask several questions that may or may not factor into solving the problem at hand.  But, as we become more experienced the amount of questions will decrease.  Sometimes as we think of questions to ask the problem gets solved and there is no need to ask any questions because we clarified it in our own mind.

In solving problems there are no bad or dumb questions as long as they are asked in the spirit of solving the problem.  I once had a client who was a well known chemist and during WWII he was practically kidnapped and brought to a super secret facility to help with a super secret problem.  The hard part for him was that he never considered himself a chemist and was only doing it to subsidize his love of singing.  So, he was brought to this room with several well known scientists and military people and asked to solve this super secret problem (he never actually told me the problem).    He told me that he was so nervous and frazzled that all he could only ask questions while he tried to calm down.  After several questions the problem began to solve itself and unravel right before everyone's eyes.  Within an hour he was lauded as the savior of the day, but he never told them the answer- all he did was ask questions.  He told me that for that point forward he always first asked questions to gain clarity before trying to solve any problem.

Have the humility to ask for clarity in order to solve any problem.  It is super easy to do in theory but super hard to do it in reality.  It is hard because of our egos and our desire to thought of as good and thus we lack the humility to be right.  So rather than be good be right.  In order to get it right, gain clarity by asking questions.

Best wishes to Jacob and Sophia Sisk

Jacob (a long time member of the dojo) and his wife Sophia have been blessed with a new baby boy named Joshua.  Joshua was born on June 18th at 4:31 PM and was 9 lbs.

Congratulations!

Please remember to wake up before you come to the dojo

 

There is an old Japanese proverb, "Nete ite koronda tameshi nashi," which translates as while you are sleeping don't fall down while trying to do something.  This statement applies best to the dojo on the weekends.  So many times we stay out late or don't get a good night's rest and find ourselves a little out of "it" when we come to practice on the weekends.  This is one of those things Sensei used to admonish us for a lot when I was a student.  It still applies today.

Anytime you are in the dojo you must be hyper aware.  The noren or curtain that hangs over the entrance bears the sickle or kama, the symbol for peace and the Japanese word for peace is wa and the Japanese character ぬ or nu.  It is a pun that together means kamawanu or beware.  In the olden days, students were judged by their conduct at every moment while they were in the dojo.  Therefore they had to be en garde at all times or in other words awake.

Today nobody is that strict anymore so the atmosphere is more relaxed and students can have fun at the dojo.  That is fine and I guess the way of the world today.  But, wouldn't it be nice to have your feet firmly rooted in the present while keeping an eye on the past?  Please approach your training with both eyes wide open so that you can be aware of everything you are doing.

The Awakening

Thank God it's Friday!  Ever had one of those weeks? Sometimes I read things like this to help me regain my perspective...

The Awakening (Author unknown)

A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can. Source: http://www.elise.com/q/webwisdom/awakening.htm

There you go enjoy the weekend!

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could, some blunders and absurdities have crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Everyday is a gift

When we are young, we dream about the future and worry about what we don't have and what will be.  When we get older we reminisce about the past and lament about what we don't have and what was.  Both of these stages in life have one thing in common- both are not living in moment.  I know, easy to say, but hard to do. Here is a video that might help illustrate that for us...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq8loZlpa_8

Sometimes words just get in the way

Please enjoy this video... http://vimeo.com/22439234