The best Aikidoists strive to not give in.
When we lose self-control for a moment, the Japanese call this isshun magasashite (一瞬魔が差して). Isshun means “for an instant” and magasasu means “to give in to an urge.” Interestingly, magasasu also means “to be possessed by an evil spirit.” This rings true because when we give into our smaller selves it really is as if it is not us at all.
In terms of not giving in, what I am talking about is the internal battle between who we are striving to be and our smaller selves. Our smaller selves are petty, emotional, or overly sensitive. When I say don’t give in, what I mean is don’t give into sadness, anger, hurt feelings, jealousy, or any other negative emotion that we tend to personalize. Our smaller self says, “Did you see that? or “What did they mean by that?” and loves to take every little thing personal. Negative emotions are a form of self-harm and thus is a form of violence. Any form of harm whether it be physical, mental, or emotional is considered violence and goes against O’Sensei’s philosophies.
Most martial arts are about engaging in resistance. They move or employ techniques which actively resist their opponent’s advances. Aikido is different. Aikidoists proactively engage in self-restraint. To resist means to actively fight, oppose, or struggle against something or someone. Demonstrating restraint implies having a certain amount of self-control. One of my student’s explained it succinctly when he said, “In most other forms of martial arts, the intensity is like a switch. Their movements and techniques are either on or off. Aikido is like a volume knob where the intensity can be dialed up or down depending on the situation.” The learned Aikidoist proactively engages in the appropriate amount of response for the appropriate situation. To do that requires that we practice mindful restraint.
To the uninitiated, it appears that Aikido is just one person giving in to another so that one person can do some contrived movement which to them has no martial value regardless if they have any martial arts experience or not. What a person who doesn’t do Aikido doesn’t understand is that we move with the opponent rather than against them. This enables the Aikidoist to administer the appropriate amount of leverage which will garner the best result for both the attacker and the attacked. The uke and nage are both engaged in awaseru (合わせる). Awaseru can mean “to put blade to blade in a fight” (i.e. resistance) but from an Aikido perspective, it means “to match the opponent’s movements, speed, rhythm, etc” in an attempt to gain control of them (i.e. restraint).
Aikidoists are supposed to be proactive meaning we aren’t waiting to be attacked nor are we allowing ourselves to be attacked. Epictetus said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” In both Aikido and in life, things will happen which are out of our control. If we are not proactive, we might give into the temptation and give into resentment, anger, or give into any other negative emotion which prevents us from being the people that we want to be. Have you ever noticed that we don’t give into joy, happiness, or any other positive emotion? Most positive emotions are states of being rather than states that we give into.
This holiday season: Be the person you want to be and don’t give into temptation to follow your smaller self.
Watch this interesting TedTalk about emotions.