Kono michi yayuku hito nashi ni
aki no kure
-Basho
This road! with no one going - autumn evening
(translation by Robert Aitken)
Here is one of my favorite haiku poems by Basho. Here Basho deftly explains the Way in poetic prose.
The teachers at this school can be somewhat demanding at times and some might even be a bit overbearing when it comes to how the techniques are being learned. This can be difficult for some students to endure, but it might be useful to understand the impetus. You see our teacher was a very harsh disciplinarian despite what you may have seen of him on TV or what you might read that he wrote. Sensei prescribed to an age old theory that is actually surfacing today in modern athletic training: perfect pays and sloppy stays, practice makes permanent. The theory is that whatever we do we should do it as perfectly as we can because whether it is perfect or sloppy it will become habit. As we all know, bad habits are easy to get into but hard to get out of and good habits are hard to get into and easy to fall out of. So this is where the instructors' constant reinforcement comes into play. They are trying their best to stem the tide of the student's bad habit before they set in. This can seem callous, cold-hearted or unkind, but it is quite the opposite. Sensei used to tell us all the time, "If I didn't care, I would say nothing." So their constant berating and criticism is really compassion. Compassion? Yes, compassion. Telling you when you are wrong is the highest form of compassion because you hear what you need and not what you want. One of my students once told me something very significant about child rearing. He said, "You say yes out of fear and not out of love." The instructors criticism is no different and the burden falls on the instructors or teachers to be the bad guys.
So when you are getting criticized or corrected please remember that this hurts the teachers just as much as it hurts the student when they have to scold them, but they do it for the student's benefit because they want them to get good.
O Sensei passed away in 1969 and many of us didn't have a chance to train with him. However, there are a few of his direct students still left and teaching around the world. One such student is Morito Suganuma Sensei who is based out of Fukuoka on the island of Kyushu in Japan. Sensei knew Suganuma Sensei from Sensei's time in Japan in 1969. Here they are pictured together in front of Hombu Dojo. I don't know who the gentleman is in the middle (if you do email me). Sensei always wanted to bring Suganuma Sensei out to our dojo but the timing never worked out. Suganuma Sensei is very good and his Aikido is every clean and it is what we would consider "normal" Aikido. If you are going to watch Aikido on Youtube (which I don't suggest), please watch people like Suganuma Sensei who are experts because a majority of people who post to Youtube are not. Suganuma Sensei put out a video and here is a link to it on Youtube. It is almost 45 minutes long but very good.
Please enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZZNdTb1S6E
Even monkeys fall out of tress so nobody's perfect.
This is one of my favorite kotowaza or Japanese proverbs and one that I use all the time. I usually direct it toward myself and rarely direct it towards others. It is one of those things I use to keep myself going when I make a mistake or are a little down about something that didn't go my way.
The idea that anything or any person is perfect is a complete and utter fallacy. I wish that perfect was attainable, but sadly it is not. Nothing and no one is perfect. Sorry, hopefully I didn't ruin it for you. Perfection is a road and not a destination. It is something we strive toward but never achieve. As I become more of an adult or grown up (yikes!) I am starting to see a shift in myself in which I am starting to understand that perfection is a myth. It is hard because for most of my life I have been an over, over, over achiever. Maybe now that I have two children of my own I will be able to embrace that sometimes even monkeys fall out of trees. Well there is always tomorrow.
From the LA Times on March 12, 2006 about our dojo.
Green Inches
Loft life--not a natural choice for most Southern Californians--doesn't mean surrendering to a barren concrete jungle. With a batch of pots, a patch of dirt and a lot of imagination, these urban gardeners have managed to create their own downtown oases.
Bamboo Lane
It is as much a part of his daily ritual as practicing the martial arts he teaches at the Aikido Center of Los Angeles. Every day at about 4 p.m. Kensho Furuya washes down the narrow loading dock of the 100-plus-year-old sugar warehouse that he has converted into his samurai dojo. He's also transformed the dock itself with bamboo architectural elements, river rocks and lush foliage.
When his students arrive, he says, "the leaves and stones are wet and clean, creating a sense of calm--like walking in the mountains by a stream." The garden is a physically and mentally refreshing transitional space "to welcome the guest from the outside world to the school."
Furuya's goal was to emulate Kyoto-style gardens "that bring you closer to nature." At just 6 feet wide, the connection is inevitable. Emerald ferns, spider plants, azaleas and impatiens thrive in the shadow of nandina, towering bamboo, pomegranate and Ficus benjamina. Asian ceramics and black plastic nursery pots share space with redwood planters--"humble materials," Furuya explains.
Visitors enter under a Japanese sign that announces Furuya's dojo as the Retreat of the Untalented One. Posts, crossbeams and small ornamental gates define the space. Paving stones made of concrete and pebbles create a slender walkway, bordered by polished rocks "representing a stream" and leading to a circular stone that "stands for completion," says Furuya. "It makes people more aware of their feet, and symbolizes that it is a narrow path to success."
A Los Angeles native, Furuya was an early settler in the downtown Arts District. "In 1984 it was just dirt and asphalt, and when I added this greenery residents protested, saying it didn't look downtown." Now the area is filled with small gardens. "Occasionally I will come out to putter and find people standing in the garden," Furuya says. "I wonder, 'Who is that?' Sometimes it's a Japanese person who is homesick, sometimes it is a commuter from Orange County who just wants a moment of peace."
Source: http://articles.latimes.com/2006/mar/12/magazine/tm-loftgardens11
Sensei posted this to the Daily Message on January 10, 2005 I think I spend much too much time in the Dojo. When I go out - driving on the streets, grocery shopping, eating in a restaurant, I am always impressed at how impolite people can be without even thinking about it. When I ask other people, I hear the same complaint but no one does or says anything about it. We just accept it as the way people are these days. We are, as many will agree, are simply a very impolite society. As a matter of fact, being polite will only cause you to be frustrated and annoyed. So, as a result of this, we become tougher, less feeling, less sensitive people - impervious to any kind of annoyance or disturbance. As I can see, some of us turn ourselves into walking images of people in stone or wood.
We bring this into the dojo - a mentality of being impolite and uncaring as a way to be "cool." Being impolite, for many, is the emotional shield to defend themselves against the whole world. Politeness for many is a sign of weakness and vulnerability leaving one's self open to any kind and type of "attack." This disturbs me at so many levels. The emotional shield, like a crutch for a healthy person, only causes one to become weaker - it is only more mental baggage we carry around and, like a city detective, flash this "badge of disobedience" around before any human encounter as a warning, that we have the power and authority to do you damage.
When I see depictions of samurai in the movies and mass-media, they are stereo-typed as shouting, spitting, glare-eyed wild men with a decapitation fetish. No - they were, for the most part, highly educated, refined warriors, adept in the tea ceremony and poetry and many other literary arts. The rule of etiquette in Japanese culture and in the dojo was born from this Samurai culture and tradition. The rules we follow in the dojo are not simply rules to create an authoritative order or to establish a feudal social structure, Reigi Saho was a way to express, in every way, a beauty and nobility of movement and thought.
Reigi literally means "the duty and ceremony of gratitude." Saho means, "to create order (social order) and to create universal or the order of Nature." It is not simply to use a napkin or not pick your nose at the dinner table. it has quite a bit deeper and broader meaning than this.
Many years ago I asked Sensei if he had ever talked with his father or grandfather about their time in the military or in combat and the bad things they must have experienced. He said the only thing his grandfather said was, "War is war and things happen, shoganai." This is something that has always stuck with me. Shoganai or shikataganai are responses, but they are more of a state of mind that you utter in passing when you get some unpleasant news or when something bad happens. They roughly translates as that there is nothing you can do so just accept it and move on. The spirit of shoganai is what enables Japanese people to pick themselves up and move forward after something untoward happens. I wish it was something that I could take advantage more in my own life, but I think it has to be engrained in you so that it can be automatic so that when something unpropitious happens I can just utter shoganai and move on. Maybe not dwelling upon adversity is one of the biggest differences between the Japanese and the Americans. In Japanese traditional arts and especially in the martial arts adversity is seen as something that helps the student grow. The teacher tries to create an environment to push the student toward change and ultimately his greater self. It is thought that most students or young people have iji or stubbornness and resist what is good for them. Therefore a teacher is supposed to instill in the neophyte konjo or fighting spirit, but in order to do that the teacher must create an environment for change. This change can sometimes be unpleasant as is most change. So adversity isn't seen as something to dwell upon, but more of something to surmount. How do the Japanese do it? First they say, "shoganai" and then they move on and get over whatever adversity is that they are presented with.
I remember this scroll written about in Tea life, Tea Mind that read, "Be rebuked, stand corrected and learn." Within these sagely words we can see the root of shoganai and the fighting spirit of the Japanese people. Please train hard.
There are three reasons why we don't get good at Aikido or anything else for that matter.I can't ... I won't... I don't ...
It is said that every movement begins with a thought. Therefore how we not only speak but how we think is extremely important. These three word contractions are the gatekeepers of success whether thought or spoken. If we do use them as part of our everyday language then we probably won't achieve much in life let alone get good at Aikido. If Aristotle was right when he said, "Well begun is half done," then we need to modify how we think as well as how we speak in order to become more successful at whatever it is we are doing.
How about trying... I can... I will... I do...
In Japan, a shokunin is anyone who is takes his or her art seriously no matter if it is making sushi or making a yumi or Japanese bow. There is a technique for doing everything and there is also a way to master that technique as well. Lots of times I post things here to help give the students a little bit better perspective on their own Aikido training. I found this video of a Japanese master bow maker. Please try to notice the care and detail he puts into his work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-4yUhW73vU
On this day in 1871, Emperor Meiji orders the abolition of the han system and the establishment of prefectures as local centers of administration. What this means is that the local feudal lords or Daimyo had to return their powers back to the Emperor which is referred to as the Meiji Restoration. This is what some also consider the birth of martial arts to the masses. Before this time the Japanese traditional arts were for the elite class only and commoners and merchants were looked down upon and not allowed to participate. After the Meiji Restoration, the martial arts were not only open to commoners but the door swung wide open for people from the West too.
The martial arts systems that pre-date the Meiji Restoration are referred to as koryu or old style and the systems that follow the Meiji Restoration are referred to as gendai or modern. Aikido, Kendo, Judo, and Karate are the modern iterations of koryu systems.
The Meiji Restoration is also thought to be the point when martial art systems went from jutsu or technique to do or the way referring to them as forms of art. Before the 1860s the martial arts were used to prepare warriors for real life combat and thus the need for systematized fighting techniques was necessary. After 1871 there was no longer a need for combat use training and so the martial arts became a means of self-cultivation.
Yesterday B.K.S. Iyengar passed away at the age of 95. B.K.S. Iyengar is thought of as the father of modern Yoga. He popularized Yoga first in India and then brought it to the West. The West's first exposure to B.K.S. Iyengar came about as a result of one of his first students who was musician Yehudi Menuhin. Menuhin bragged that his violin playing had improved because of his practice of Yoga with Iyengar and from that point forward Iyengar was thrust into the spotlight opening the doors to Yoga in the West. His first book Light on Yoga became an international best seller and has been translated into 17 different languages (It is also one of the books in Sensei's library).
So many people today are quick to call themselves teachers and even more are quicker to try and teach others. It would be nice if the motive for becoming a teacher was less about one's ego and money and more about the the art. Having never met B.K.S. Iyengar, he struck me as the type of person who taught for the sake of the art and not for the glory or riches of being a teacher. I personally study Yoga and studied Iyengar style Yoga for five years in college and I am humbled by what he must have sacrificed to get his art to me a lowly and lazy practitioner.
I am inspired by him as a teacher and what he accomplished over his lifetime. I hope to someday be a teacher like B.K.S. Iyengar who kept the fires burning for the next generation. My only hope is that Aikido and Sensei's teachings be available for subsequent generations to come. So many today confuse being a teacher with fame and fortune. Sensei always said that, "Teaching is a noble profession" and that one needed to treat it that way. I understand it is a hard balance between making money and possibly becoming famous or well known and being a teacher. I believe that in order to strike a balance one must first go back to the root of why he is a teacher and that root should always be for the benefit of others. Teachers teach for no other reason than for the sake of others. All other reasons are immoral and deceitful and thus not making it a noble profession.
B.K.S. Iyengar was a teacher of Yoga, but what he was really teaching us was how to live our lives. If you think Yoga like Aikido is just exercise you are missing the point. Both are a vehicle towards spiritual, mental and emotional enlightenment but what is not understood is that like Aikido the enlightenment doesn't come at the end of practice because the practice itself is enlightenment. A quote accompanied the announcement of his death on his website read, "I always tell people, live happily and die majestically." This should be every person's rule to live by. Rest in peace.
Tea Life, Tea Mind by Urasenke Tea master Soshitsu Sen XV is one of my all time favorite books. I would have to say that I read this book at least once a year. It's a quick read but filled with a wealth of knowledge. The basic principles of tea ceremony (Chado) are wa kei sei jaku or harmony, respect, purity and tranquility. Japanese society is so heavily influenced by these four principles that you can see them everywhere you look in Japan and in Japanese culture today.
The four basic tenets of chado encompass everything you need to know about following the Way and what it means to be a martial artist at the highest level. Harmony is something you strive to create not only in yourself and everything around you but in everything that you do. Harmony is the highest goal of all the martial arts. Respect is something that we extend to not only other people and other things but to ourselves as well. Having an inner state of respect enables you become a person of character. Respect is one of the few characteristics that separates us from beasts. Purity is not a state you attain but something you work toward. In Tea Life, Tea Mind he says that when we clean we are not only ridding our surroundings of dirt and clutter but also cleansing ourselves as well. Tranquility is a state that we all strive for in life. Tranquility comes as a result of the first three principles, but to experience true tranquility this only becomes a reality when another enters into that experience. At that point, we can know if we have attained it or if we have just been merely deceiving ourselves.
This is a great book to not only survey tea ceremony but to learn more about the Way.
This book is out of print and you will have to pick it up second hand on ebay or amazon in the used section, but I wouldn't pay more than $15.00 for it.
Around where I live it is back to school week for non-college age kids so I thought I would post something that might inspire them in their academic careers. However, this speech by Steve Jobs given in 2005 could pertain to anyone. I say anyone because everybody needs a reminder from time to time to use their time wisely and to follow their hearts. Martial artists are no different. Whatever martial art you choose or whatever martial art you find yourself studying right now, please put forth all your efforts. Life is short. Please don't waste it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc
Here is the text.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
Source: http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
Nisei Week Aikido Demonstration
Sunday August 10 at 11:00 am.
JACCC plaza
244 S. San Pedro Street,
Los Angeles, CA 90012
Everyone please come out and support the dojo
Helping others, thinking about others or putting others first is at the core of every religion or great teaching and aikido is no different. Aikido is a different type of martial art in that there is a great emphasis placed on ukemi or receiving the technique. Ukemi is the physical manifestation of the greater teaching of helping others or in other words compassion. Ukemi is compassion. Think about it, you give up or sacrifice yourself for another person's enlightenment. It doesn't get any more compassionate than that. Realizing the uke's (the one who receives) compassionate gesture the nage (the thrower) is humbled by this gesture. The best case scenario the nage pays it forward and shows others compassion. In the worst case scenario the nage takes advantage of the uke's kindness and either abuses him or treats him with little regard - nothing is more abhorrent. What then is the goal if training? The goal of studying a martial art is not the destruction of others but rather the destruction of yourself. Loyalty, courage, bravery, and valor are all the characteristics of great warriors but they are only manifested as you sacrifice yourself for others.
This idea of compassion is what makes aikido a different type of martial art. Most other martial arts manifest compassion at their highest level. In aikido we practice it from the very first day.
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I apologize in advance. There won't be another Daily Message until 8/18. I will be away with no phone or internet access.
I found this on the Internet and found it eerily similar to how a martial artist should conduct himself. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman when it comes to decorum or etiquette. A true warrior surpasses all others in how they conduct themselves. Source: http://www.thegentlemansjournal.com/20-things-gentleman-never-do/
What you don’t do is as important as what you do, do. As your loyal provider of all things gentlemanly, we felt it our moral duty to impart some of our wisdom of what we believe a gentleman should never do…
1. WEAR SOMETHING ‘IRONICALLY’
Geek glasses, Hawaiian shirts, 80′s retro sportswear, you name it – a gentleman wouldn’t be seen dead in something purely for the sake of ‘irony’, leave this look to the likes of pop-up-store-come-vintage-clothing-come-speakeasy-bar-owners.
2. PIERCE ANY BODY PART
Do what you like in your teenage, ungentlemanly years, but beyond these rebellious times and into the years of being a gentleman, remove all trace of past rebellions and never, we repeat never, pierce a body part.
3. SIT WHILE A LESS ABLE PERSON STANDS
This is more common manners than anything else, but a gentleman would never sit (on a tube or otherwise) whilst a woman, less-able or elderly person stands.
4. BREAK THEIR WORD
A boy speaks, a gentleman acts on his word and stays true to it.
5. LIE
A real gentleman stays loyal, faithful and honest at all times.
6. SPEND MORE TIME IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR THAN THEIR OTHER HALF
Vanity is deeply ungentlemanly.
7. FORGET WHERE HE CAME FROM
No matter how much a gentleman earns, or how much success he has garnered, a real gentleman will stay humble to his past.
8. KISS AND TELL
Because a gentleman never tells.
9. GET DRUNK AT A WEDDING (ESPECIALLY YOUR OWN)
Someone once told me that there is nothing tackier than a drunk bride, but in retrospect this applies as much to gentlemen as it does to brides to be. A gentleman knows his limits.
10. BE TOO PROUD TO APOLOGIZE
A true gentleman will apologize after a fight, even if he wasn’t in the wrong.
11. URINATE IN PUBLIC
Unless an 18 year-old having his first beer, there is simply no excuse.
12. DRIVE RECKLESSLY WITH A WOMAN OR CHILD IN THE CAR
You are not clever or rebellious, rather you are dangerous, and not in a the cool, rebel without a cause way.
13. GET A TATTOO BEYOND THE AGE OF 21
Similarly to number 2, it’s probably best to avoid this one too, if you did get drunk on a beach in Thailand and get your name in Arabic branded across your back, then consider keeping it covered up.
14. SIT CROSSED-LEGGED
Unless you’re doing Yoga – which is ok by the way – try and avoiding sitting like a child. There is just something strange about seeing a grown man sitting in such a way.
15. REFER TO YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON
Annoying doesn’t even begin to cover this.
16. DRUNK TEXT/CALL
Not classy – just embarrassing. A gentleman does not need to be inebriated to communicate.
17. CANCEL AT THE LAST MINUTE
A real gentleman makes plans, and sticks to them, no matter what.
18. SWEAR IN PUBLIC
A gentleman would never let his mood dictate his manners.
19. BELIEVE IN LUCK OR CHANCE
A gentleman knows the power of cause and effect.
20. PATRONIZE
Your age does not refine your maturity.
This is one of my favorite scrolls in Sensei's collection. The scroll is a painting of a stone tsukubai or water basin that appears in the garden at Ryoan-ji temple in Japan. The carving looks like a coin and the kanji that surround the square in the middle doesn't mean anything, but when you add the square to the kanji they become 吾, 唯, 足, 知 or ware tada taru oshiru. Ware tada taru (wo) shiru literally translates as "I only know contentment." Sensei translated the meaning as, "To know what is sufficient." This idea of sufficiency is the root of our training.
O Sensei talked about this idea of contentment as "Masakatsu, agatsu" or the true victory is the victory over yourself. When we can be content with not only who we are but what we can do as well as what we have, we can be content. That victory that O Sensei is speaking of is the coming to terms with ourselves or in other words contentment. We only need what we have and only need to be who we already are, but this is easier said than done and that is why O Sensei said the true victory is the victory over yourself.
--------------------------------------------------------- Day 10 update: Well that was something. Letting others off the hook was easy, but letting myself off the hook was soooooo hard. I would be lying if I said I made it because in reality there were times when I just couldn't let myself off the hook. I think that this whole challenge was about the realization that letting yourself off the hook is necessary to live a healthy life. Beating ourselves up for one reason or another isn't the way and that letting ourselves off the hook for sins is the right path even if it is the hardest. Please do your best to let others off the hook when they make a mistake because it will be easier to let yourself off the hook when you do too.
I am truly thankful for all the students who came out to support the dojo and attend Karita Sensei's class. Please take his teachings to heart regardless if you understand or can apply them today. The funny thing is that when Sensei demonstrated Aikido and would explain Aikido, he would basically do that exact same things that Karita taught. His explanations were shorter and more straight to the point, but he was a native English speaker. If we are able to somehow embody what Karita Sensei was teaching, our Aikido would be incredible. However, those of you who turned your nose up to it are missing the point. When Sensei was alive, our job as students was only to copy and we were not to encouraged to interpret things. Copying them and accepting them was the fastest way to learn, but thinking about it or trying to understand is not natural to human movement and slower. Do you think about every step you take? That would take forever and burn up a lot of mental energy. Therefore, we just move and in martial arts we just copy. In copying, our bodies store the knowledge and when the time is right we come to understand it. What is the old SNL joke about Arnold schwarzenegger, "Hear me know and understand me later." It's funny but true when studying the martial arts. Learn it first with your body and then with your mind.
The truest way to learn is to give up what you think you know and surrender to what you don't. This is also the only true way to "steal" the technique.
----------------------------------------------------------------- Day 9 update: Wow! How hard was that. Having to let 2 people off the hook was easy, but letting myself off 7 times was almost impossible. I have to say that I actually failed. I was so busy that I didn't remember until I got home at 11:30 PM that I had two left. Bummer. But, I can see that the whole exercise is about letting yourself off the hook.
Day 10: Let yourself off the hook 10 times and anyone else for that matter as much as you like.
Karita Sensei will be teaching us one more time tonight. Please do not be late. Class starts at 6:30 PM.
The classes are open to everyone (members and guests).
Guests should arrive early so that they can fill out the waiver.
Please wear your gi pants and a white t-shirt.
A funny thing happens on the way to learning something, we realize that given the proper attitude that we can learn something from everyone. The key statement is "given the proper attitude." Having the proper attitude begins with letting go of the ego of "I know." When we can realize that we don't know everything then we can begin the journey to learn a lot of things. Learning requires we first be open to anything and everything and second be willing to learn from anything and everything. When asked, "Who is your teacher?" the enlightened monk answers, "Everything." The Buddha said, "Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else." Because everything is the same or interrelated then we can then learn from any source. Last night's Tai Chi seminar, although not Aikido, can help us become better Aikidoist, but that requires that we look upon it with open and willing eyes. If you can do that then everyone and everything can become your teacher and there won't be anything you can't do or learn. With that power, the world will then become your oyster.
------------------------------------------------------ Day 8 update: Whew what a day. Taking guests around shopping and running back and forth from the dojo to the hotel presented enough let someone off the hook moments to last for days. But, I mandated for myself 4 and 4 and that was the hard part. Letting myself off the hook was easy to do once, but 3 more times was a real struggle. I am starting to see that it is so hard to be easy on myself, but I think that this challenge is shaping up this way.
Day 9: Let 2 people off the hook and let yourself off 7 times.