Don't Give in to Your Story

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.” - Henry Ford

A good warrior never succumbs to the story. At every moment throughout our day we are telling ourselves a “story.” Most of the time the story is only based in reality but is disproportionally fictional. The story can be so powerful that we believe it’s real. Every story begins with “I am…”and so the story is who we tell ourselves who we are. The story can change or be situationally specific. Most of the time, the story is the first thing that comes to mind when something happens and it is not a thought, but rather a feeling that is usually based upon a prior experience. Generally, the story makes us feel bad about ourselves. For instance, if we order dessert and someone casually comments, it takes us back to some unpleasant situation and then we feel guilty and don’t enjoy the dessert. The same thing happens in training. Nobody likes being confronted physically. So, when our opponent strikes at us, in seemingly a flash, we feel the story and react in kind. One great thing about budo training is that we get to confront some of these stories and then we get a blueprint as to how to manage our stories. The first thing to do is realize that it is just a story and that stories are largely embellished. Next ask, “Is this completely true?” and if it’s not completely true it enables us to begin to free ourselves from what is holding us down. Another thing we can do is add a conjunction to the story. If we say, “I am not good enough” and then add “but today I will be better.” Doing this enables us to change the story, change the feeling and take control of our paradigm. A warrior understands that our inner demons and/or our egos whisper stories to us but that stories aren’t necessarily all truth. Shakespeare wrote, “nothing is right or wrong but thinking makes it so.” Thus, by examining the stories and challenging the stories, we get to re-write them and defeat them and that’s why good warriors never succumb to them.  

Today’s goal: Pause and feel what’s going on. Ask yourself, “Am I succumbing to the story?” Then re-write the story.

Do Nothing Which is of No Use

A good warrior always works smarter, not harder. “Do nothing which is of no use” was one of the Dokkodo or the 21 precepts that Miyamoto Musashi lived his life by. As we reach out toward our goals, it’s not uncommon for us to think that all we need to do is work as hard as we can, and we will succeed. After all, William James said, “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” However, it is possible to work one’s self to death which is referred to as “karoishi” (過労死) in Japanese. In budo training, more isn’t necessarily better despite teachers throughout the ages admonishing us to, “Work harder, work harder” but I think what they really meant was that we need to work smarter. Working smarter means knowing the difference between what is right and what is right now. Furuya Sensei once said, “You don’t need to dig holes in every place, just in the right places.” Thus, it is possible to prepare ourselves for battle, but not be ready to fight because we put in so much unnecessary work that it overworked us. True martial arts training is the journey towards finding peace, balance, and centeredness. Overworking, like overtraining does not come from a place of balance and so the ramifications can be stress, burnout, and maybe even death. The journey of life is about learning to let go. We let go of those things which don’t technically serve us even if we think that they do or in other words we “do nothing which is of no use.” Being smart means know what do and what not to do, what to hold on to and when to let it go and also knowing when it is time to work hard and when it’s time to back off. When we are calm and centered, everything will fall into place and so a warrior knows the difference between right and right now. True warriors are always seeking balance and centeredness, and thus they always work smarter, not harder.

Today’s goal: What are you holding on to? Pause, take a breath and let it go. Do nothing which is of no use.

A Warrior's Inner Strength is Restraint

A warrior’s true inner strength lies in restraint. The amount of restraint we have is equal to the amount of character we have developed in our training. In martial arts training it is often mistakenly thought to be solely about the acquisition of physical skill and strength. However, this is true only in the beginning. The actual path of training lies in the development of one’s character. Therefore, Voltaire explained it best when he said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Thus, with the acquisition of strength and ability comes the responsibility of restraint which is the ability control one’s self. When confronted, it is easy to lose one’s temperament and do things which we regret later. Training teaches us to have restraint by building up our tolerances so that we may have restraint when it matters most – life and death situations. Years ago, the Lays potato chips ad slogan was, “Betcha, can’t eat just one!” This ad campaign is based upon something called hedonic hunger or our desire for pleasure or positive incentive. Eating like hurting others are desires that originate in mind and our overindulgence shows our true weakness. Because the desire to seek pleasure or satisfaction are constructs of our minds, they can be trained and thus the goal of training is to develop one’s character. In Japanese, one word for restraint is “yokushi” and interestingly, yokushi can also mean “checkmate.” With these understandings, we can surmise that restraint is the key to winning. We can destroy or hurt others, but that just shows our lack of restraint and is the window into our weakness. We can also show kindness, compassion, forgiveness and the ability to put the welfare of others before our own and that shows the level of restraint we’ve developed in training. Furuya Sensei once wrote, “Strength is nothing without serenity and nobility of character.” Strength then needs to be balanced out and that is why it comes with great responsibility. Demonstrating restraint is more difficult than defeating the strongest foe and that is why a warrior’s true inner strength lies in restraint.  

Today’s goal: Do your best to show restraint in even the littlest of things because they all add up.

Softness Conquers Hardness

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on July 3, 2003.

Ju Yoku Go Wo Sei Shi, Jaku Yoku Kyo Wo Sei Suru
"Softness conquers hardness, pliability conquers strength."

Today, we are too obsessed with strength and power. I feel this exhibits an inherent fear of our own human weakness without realizing that our weakness is a part of human nature and our humanity. We try to overcome Nature and everything in this world and then we feel so weak and helpless because there is not much we can do about it. We should try to be in harmony with Nature and flow with it. The ancients understood this, but we have lost this wisdom.

In Zen practice or in an old-time dojo, the teacher might say, Sunao ni nare! or “To become more weak!" Or, in other words, lose our own concept of strength and goodness about ourselves because it is all a false mental attachment.

For some in practice, I would like to say, "Become more weak!" But when I do this, everyone gives me a funny expression like, "Why? I am practicing to become strong, not weak!" Yes, that is right - you do not know true strength or true weakness at all! So, Sunao ni nare!

Are Martial Artists Good or Just Lucky?

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” - Seneca

The best warriors do not rely on luck. Luck is defined as, “Success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.” Thus, in battle and in life a warrior cannot rely on chance and so they can only rely on their own skills. Success can sometimes seem non-linear or that it just seems to happen and so we think that a person’s success must be a function of luck. However, success is actually linear in that it only comes about as a function of one’s effort and that is why warriors of budo often say, “We reap what we sow.” It is easy to think of success as non-linear because we don’t “see” all of the toil which brought that person to that moment of their success and thus it is easy to perceive them as just being lucky. In budo and in life, there are no overnight successes nor are there any prodigies – everyone at some point or another will have to put in the work. There is a well-known story about the violinist Pablo De Sarasate that illustrates this point. After being called a genius by a critic after one of his performances, he quipped, “For 37 years, I practiced 14 hours a day and now they call me genius!” It is true that every person is born with talent and gifts and sometimes those gifts come to the surface early while in others it takes longer to come out. The surest way to bring out our gifts is to put in the hard work and then the talent will naturally come out. That is why Miyamoto Musashi said, “It takes 1,000 days to forge the spirit and another 10,000 days to polish it.” A good warrior knows that on a certain level they make their own luck because as Seneca said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” When we put in the work towards our dreams and goals, sooner or later we will get “lucky” and that is why the best warriors don’t rely on luck.

Today’s goal: Don’t rely on luck. Put in the hard work to make your dreams and goals come true.

There are No Weekend Warriors

There are no weekend warriors in budo. Having a Monday through Friday mindset causes normal people to live for the weekends. There is nothing wrong with this mentality. However, a warrior is a person who follows the Way. The Way is a life set forth by morals and principles that one does their best to not waver from. The Way is an everyday mindset and so there are no weekends. An everyday mindset is not something that one can be just turned on or off as we like because we run the risk of falling into complacency. Someone once said, “how we do anything is how we do everything.” Thus, to be a true warrior, we must be the same person everywhere and in everything that we do. It doesn’t matter if we work the french fry station or if we are the CEO, we must put forth the same effort into everything that we do and thus “how we do anything is how we do everything.” Furuya Sensei once wrote, “In traditional training, spiritual training always begins with purely physical training. This is where many of us misunderstand this process. This physical training is designed to develop our mental and spiritual sides, so physical training is not simply physical training but the first step towards developing ourselves spiritually.” When Sensei says, “spiritual,” he doesn’t mean religious. Spiritual in this sense means how or why someone does something and it is more important than the what or the outcome. To truly follow the Way requires us to always have the proper mental focus and attitude. To attain this proper focus and attitude requires spiritual training and that means living one’s life guided by a set of morals, principles, or ideals. The more we train, the deeper or more spiritual our training becomes. Budo training is about becoming the best person we can be. To achieve this requires a mindset where there are no days off and that is why in budo there are no weekend warriors.

Today’s goal: Ask yourself, “Am I the same person everywhere I go and in everything that I do?  

Let Your Shoulders Sit

Both in fighting and in everyday life you should be determined though calm. -Miyamoto Musashi

The other day, Watanabe Sensei and I were filming some bokken videos for the dojo when he said something interesting in reference to cutting or standing in kamae. He said, “In swordsmanship, they say your shoulder should sit.” The next day, I was washing my hands when I looked in the mirror and noticed that my shoulders were up and I instantly remembered, “Shoulders should sit.” Raising our shoulders is part of the cycle of negative tension our body exhibits in response to stress. This is part of our flight or fight nerv0us system or sympathetic nervous system. When we feel stress, our neck contracts and our shoulders raise and put pressure on our Vagus nerve which innervates many if not all of our organs and thus it can have an impact our health. When we feel stressed or notice our shoulders are raised, the antidote is to take a moment, breathe and lower our shoulders. The more we do this, the more we are teaching our nervous system to relax as oppose to escalate when confronted with stress. In bokken training, when we cut, there is a natural tendency to put too much power or upper body strength into the cut and force it. One of the main indicators of forcing the cut is the raising of the shoulders and so our “shoulders should sit.” It is the same in life, when we are stressed, we are probably working too hard or trying to force something and that is precisely the moment when we should take a moment, breathe and come back into our bodies by deep breathing which automatically lowers our shoulders. In Chinese medicine, they say, “Keep your feet warm and your head cool.” So, for optimum health, we should keep our feet warm and our heads cool while focusing on our breathing and let our shoulders sit.

Today’s goal: Try to notice if your shoulders are up. If so, take a breath and let your shoulders sit.

Listening is the Way

浅瀬に仇波
Asaseniadanami
Deep rivers move in silence; shallow brooks are noisy

A good warrior knows when to listen. A lot has been written about success, but an often-overlooked topic is listening. I don’t mean patiently waiting one’s turn to talk. When I say listening, I mean something in Japanese called kikikata (聞き方) or “listening or the way of listening.” Most of the mishaps are the result of miscommunications. Miscommunications happen because one or all parties weren’t really listening to one another. Think if we were warriors on the battlefield and were told to cover the rear of our army, but at that moment we were off thinking or trying to talk and just replied reflexively. During the battle, our comrades were overtaken because nobody was watching their backs. Or think of our partner who tells us about their bad day and without really listening, we just nodded our heads which resulted in them getting mad at us or leaving us. There is thought that our tongues have a connection to our minds and our center or one-point. Supposedly if our tongues are moving then we are probably thinking or talking and are then not centered or calm. The Way is in listening because to truly listen one must be paying attention from a position of calm centeredness and this takes a lot of training. So much in budo or the martial arts is about developing restraint, but this restraint isn’t just physical but primarily mental and emotional. Supposedly, we can only entertain one thought at a time so we can’t be listening while we are thinking or talking. Being able to truly listen is one measure of our depth of character and this can be seen in the Japanese expression asaseniadanami (浅瀬に仇波) which means something like “Deep rivers move in silence; shallow brooks are noisy” but it’s supposed to mean those who know little talk very much. To be a good warrior one must know how to truly listen and thus the Way is in listening.

Today’s goal: While you are listening, see if you can feel your tongue moving or if your mind is ready to speak. Then try and just listen and see what happens.

Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on January 6, 2003.

In martial arts, as warriors we live by a strict code of honor, respect and manners. Warriors and samurai are distinguished by the strict code of ethics and morals they bind themselves to. This is what makes them very special and this is where their inner strength and spiritual energy comes from.

Don't Forget Your Intentions

Shoshin wasuru bekarazu (初心忘るべからず) or “don’t forget your original intention” is an admonishment to the person who follows the Way to always to be resolute. The word intention means “on purpose.” When we set an intention, we are really setting a purpose. To go forward purposefully is then a choice. Thus, we are choosing to be, do or act a certain way. Every morning when we open our eyes, we should set an intention and then remember that resolution throughout the day. People like US Navy Admiral William McRaven advocated that we “Make our beds every day” and Furuya Sensei suggested that we “Handle our weapons every day” because doing those things help to reinforce an idea and set us up for success. When we set an intention and constantly remember it throughout the day, we are using positive self-talk and creating a cycle that can change our mindsets and thus change our lives. Setting an intention from an Aikido standpoint is really just centering ourselves. In order to be centered, we must be calm and thus remembering our intention is a way to calm ourselves down. On average, we must do something 21 times in a row for it to become a habit. So, we can see that if we miss even one day then the counter restarts. Our success is primarily up to us. Every morning set your intention so that you can become the person you want to be. Likewise, shoshin wasuru bekarazu  or don’t forget to remind yourself throughout the day, so that you don’t forget where it is you want to go.

Today’s goal: Think about something you want to do, become or change. Create a 3- 5 word intention and read it out loud every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed.      

Thank Your Enemies

Give thanks for your enemies because they are your best teachers.

Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day so give thanks for your enemies because they are your best teachers. Appreciating one’s enemies seems kind of irrational because many of us use hate and anger as the fuel to combat them. At a higher level, we realize that our enemies can bring out the best in us. When they present themselves, they also present us with an opportunity. The philosophical quote, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” means is that when we are hungry enough to learn, the lesson will present itself. Understanding this, everything, every person, every situation and even our enemies can serve as our teachers. What every person learns is different because it depends on where we find ourselves on the path of life. Today, it seems as if nature itself is our teacher and, gratefully, our enemy COVID-19 is bringing us a great many lessons. Generally, the lesson can be wherever we are experiencing the most suffering. To uncover the lesson, we only need to ask ourselves, “Why?” “Why?” leads us to the deeper root of the pain, frustration, or suffering and thus we realize the real enemy is not without but within. O’Sensei said, “Be grateful even for hardship, setbacks, and bad people. Dealing with such obstacles is an essential part of training in the art of peace.” The philosophy of Aikido is based upon the concepts of non-violence and harmony. Striving for harmony with our attacker enables us to see that they are not the opponent at all and then we can see that teacher is in everything. The founder of tea ceremony, Sen Rikyu wrote, “Fight your shame. Throw out your pride and learn all you can from others. This is the basis of a successful life.” Years from now, people will ask, “So what did you learn from the 2020 COVID crisis?” Hopefully, we will have learned many great lessons and used those lessons to change our lives for the better. Today, please appreciate your teachers for they will not last forever and be gone before you know it.  

Today’s goal: Thank your enemies today for all their help.    

May the Fourth Be With You

A true warrior always has hope. People often think that a samurai loves death, but this is far from the truth. A true warrior trains to accept their circumstances and the inevitability that they are going to die. Having this mindset actually teaches them how to live in the moment because they realize that yesterday is gone and there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. No matter how dark things seem, we must have hope. Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” To truly live, we must have hope and therefore hope is a choice and so it is a mindset. In battle and in life, we are confronted with many obstacles and some might seem insurmountable. If we allow ourselves to give in to the despair, we will surely be beaten. It is interesting that the first Star Wars movie to be released, albeit being Episode IV, was titled A New Hope and that the last one was The Rise of Skywalker. One unintended reason could be that everyone’s journey is about change and to have change we must have hope. The title of the last movie parallels Rey stating that she is a Skywalker illustrates that no matter who we start out as or what our circumstances might be, we must choose to be who we are and that begins with hope. The force or Ki (氣) flows through us all, but that energy is neither good nor bad. It is our choice to use it for good or evil. Joseph Campbell wrote, “The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.” Aikido trains us to be in harmony with that power. Like the characters in Star Wars who have passed on, I know that our friend Steven Shaw is with all of us and is celebrating with a beer. So have hope on your journey, be at one with the universe and “May the force be with you.”    

Today’s goal: Think about what hope means to you on your journey.  

A Warrior Trains Themselves To Let Go

Do not hold your sword too tightly. If we grip the sword too tightly then we can’t use the sword properly and we also run the risk of fatigue and in battle fatigue is fatal. Conversely, if we hold the sword too weak then we can’t generate power and our opponent can also easily knock it out of our hands and that could be fatal too. In the beginning of our training, we are trying to learn how to “control” the sword and most hold the sword too strongly. As we train, we learn just how much strength is necessary to generate the most amount of power or we learn the best way to “control” the sword. At its highest level, swordsmanship is not about learning how to kill but learning how to put the sword down. Budo is really about learning how to let go and thus training is actually the search for inner peace. One of the biggest barriers to our serenity is the illusion that we are in control and that there is certainty. In Japanese, the illusion of control and desire for certainty is akin to being “taken hold of” by something or torawarete (囚われて). In training, we realize that we can only control ourselves and what happens outside of ourselves is for the most part out of our control and thus we cannot be certain of anything. Furuya Sensei often recounted some wise words by his Zen master, “nothing happens as you like.” Thus, the best warriors do not hold their swords too tightly because in battle and in life, there are no certainties. Learning to let go is the key to self-mastery and living a fulfilled life. The monk Ryokan said it best, “To find inner peace, be still the mind and let go. Live in the now. Breathe.”

Today’s goal: Find something that you are trying to control. Take a few breaths in and breathe out and let it go.   

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”

— Tony Schwartz

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on January 10, 2003.

“We think that Aikido is power, as in our own power, but it is not. We think that money is power, but it is not. We think that right over wrong is power, but it is not. We think that holding a gun or sword is power, but it is not. This is a very common delusion we all hold. There is only Nature's power and we do not possess it.”

Don't Blink

A good warrior never blinks. A good warrior is supposed to always be balanced which means they are focused and alert, but also calm and relaxed. We see this balance demonstrated in not only their posture and demeanor but also in the state of their eyes. Miyamoto Musashi referred to this when he said, “Do not roll your eyes nor allow them to blink, but slightly narrow them.” It might seem unreasonable to think that a person could somehow keep themselves from blinking, but this is just an adage that is supposed to remind us to develop a spirit which is not easily perturbed. Being imperturbable means that we are not easily distracted or surprised. It is said that, “The eyes are the windows to our s0ul” and so our eyes can reveal the extent of our inner state of being and our true level of inner development. When we have reached a certain level of training or development then our minds become calm and balanced and this is apparent in our eyes which have a sense of quietness and are narrower with whites that are mainly visible on the sides of the iris. The calmer and more poised we are then we are less apt to be distracted or surprised and thus a good warrior doesn’t blink easily. Today, it can be difficult to keep our poise in the face of adversity, but this is part of our training. Furuya Sensei said, “The only proof that we have mastered Aikido or, at least, have begun to understand its principles, is the degree to which we have incorporated it into our lives.” Keep calm, stay focused and don’t blink, no matter what happens.

Today’s goal: When something good or bad happens, take a breath, relax your jaw and narrow your gaze and try not to blink.  

Calmness

Calmness is not a skill

Happy 72nd Birthday Furuya Sensei

Happy Birthday Reverend Kensho Furuya Sensei. Today would have been your 72nd birthday.

“Those that leave their teachers early will feel a great deal of regret in their later years. They will say, ‘Too bad I didn't study harder and learn a little more from them!’ or ‘Too bad I didn't stay with that teacher much longer and learn more.’ or ‘Too bad they are no longer here.’ If we think this, it is already too late! As long as I have studied with some of my teachers for so many years, I still miss them very much! And even with this, I think that I should have studied much more. When we find a good teacher don't lose them. They are like treasures and you will always regret it later. I am not talking as a teacher now, I am talking as another old, long time student…” - Rev. Kensho Furuya

Don't Take Anything For Granted

“There is no greater danger than underestimating an opponent.” Lao Tzu

Furuya Sensei once wrote, “No precision, no focus, no center.” What he alludes to is that without precision we cannot lead lives that are balanced, focused and filled with success. In budo training, we learn seido (精度) or “precision” because the techniques can be quite lethal and in battle we cannot take anything for granted. If we underestimate our opponent, then our hubris may lead to our downfall. If we underestimate our own abilities, then we take ourselves for granted and then we can be overtaken by our challengers. Sun Tzu said, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” Understanding this, to be successful, we must be aware. With training and awareness, we can realize O’Sensei’s assertion that, “There are no opponents in Aikido.” There are no opponents because we realize that we are actually our greatest opponent, and thus no real opponent exists. If we are the only true opponent, then we are really underestimating ourselves and that lack of awareness can lead to our downfall. Lack of awareness can lead to taking things and people for granted and this underestimation can lead to pain, regret, loss and hurt feelings. A person of budo strives for precision so that they can become aware of even the smallest detail because they know that awareness can lead to gratefulness and that thankfulness brings us a happier and more balanced life. Don’t underestimate your opponents.   

Today’s goal: Tell someone that you are grateful for something that they have done for you.

Everything Has Its Own Nature

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on March 4, 2002.

Everything has its own nature. Bamboo requires so much water that we cannot even imagine how much we have to water it. Bamboo's nature is to thrive on water. However, the orchid is completely different, it thrives on less water. One (bamboo) we must flood with water and enough is never enough. Some students demand tremendous amounts of attention and direction. The other (orchid) we should not water at all and in doing so we allow it to search for water itself in the dry soil which enables it to become strong and flourish.

A Warrior Can Ask For Help

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” – Cesar Chavez

Success in any endeavor requires us to be good at collaboration and so we must be good at asking for help. In class, when we ask someone to train with us, we say, “onegaishimasu.” In this context, onegaishimasu (お願いします) means “Please do me this favor.” In Aikido, the techniques are our vehicle towards the mastery of Aikido and thus we need someone else’s help achieve that. A true warrior is a good collaborator and a good collaborator only needs to master these four phrases: “I am wrong,” “I am sorry,” “I love you,” and “I need help.” These four phrases can be very difficult to sincerely say but being able to honestly say them demonstrates our true character. If we can admit that we are wrong, it reveals our level of humility and shows that we are aware of our strengths and weaknesses. To honestly apologize shows that we live with integrity and can own up to our mistakes. To sincerely say “I love you” shows what is truly in our hearts and that we care about others. To ask for help is probably the hardest thing to say because we can fake all the others, but we cannot fake asking for help. Also asking for help is hard because we somehow think it is a sign of weakness but to ask for help is probably one’s ultimate show of strength. Thus, every technique we practice with our partner begins with, “onegaishimasu.” None of us exist in a vacuum and we all need help at some time or another. A true warrior knows that asking for help shows their real level of awareness, humility and integrity, but it also shows what is truly in their hearts. Being vulnerable is not defeat or weakness, but rather showing what is truly in our hearts is the ultimate strength. Onegaishimasu.   

Today’s goal: Can you ask someone for help or can you give someone some help who needs assistance?