Listening is the Way

浅瀬に仇波
Asaseniadanami
Deep rivers move in silence; shallow brooks are noisy

A good warrior knows when to listen. A lot has been written about success, but an often-overlooked topic is listening. I don’t mean patiently waiting one’s turn to talk. When I say listening, I mean something in Japanese called kikikata (聞き方) or “listening or the way of listening.” Most of the mishaps are the result of miscommunications. Miscommunications happen because one or all parties weren’t really listening to one another. Think if we were warriors on the battlefield and were told to cover the rear of our army, but at that moment we were off thinking or trying to talk and just replied reflexively. During the battle, our comrades were overtaken because nobody was watching their backs. Or think of our partner who tells us about their bad day and without really listening, we just nodded our heads which resulted in them getting mad at us or leaving us. There is thought that our tongues have a connection to our minds and our center or one-point. Supposedly if our tongues are moving then we are probably thinking or talking and are then not centered or calm. The Way is in listening because to truly listen one must be paying attention from a position of calm centeredness and this takes a lot of training. So much in budo or the martial arts is about developing restraint, but this restraint isn’t just physical but primarily mental and emotional. Supposedly, we can only entertain one thought at a time so we can’t be listening while we are thinking or talking. Being able to truly listen is one measure of our depth of character and this can be seen in the Japanese expression asaseniadanami (浅瀬に仇波) which means something like “Deep rivers move in silence; shallow brooks are noisy” but it’s supposed to mean those who know little talk very much. To be a good warrior one must know how to truly listen and thus the Way is in listening.

Today’s goal: While you are listening, see if you can feel your tongue moving or if your mind is ready to speak. Then try and just listen and see what happens.

Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on January 6, 2003.

In martial arts, as warriors we live by a strict code of honor, respect and manners. Warriors and samurai are distinguished by the strict code of ethics and morals they bind themselves to. This is what makes them very special and this is where their inner strength and spiritual energy comes from.

Don't Forget Your Intentions

Shoshin wasuru bekarazu (初心忘るべからず) or “don’t forget your original intention” is an admonishment to the person who follows the Way to always to be resolute. The word intention means “on purpose.” When we set an intention, we are really setting a purpose. To go forward purposefully is then a choice. Thus, we are choosing to be, do or act a certain way. Every morning when we open our eyes, we should set an intention and then remember that resolution throughout the day. People like US Navy Admiral William McRaven advocated that we “Make our beds every day” and Furuya Sensei suggested that we “Handle our weapons every day” because doing those things help to reinforce an idea and set us up for success. When we set an intention and constantly remember it throughout the day, we are using positive self-talk and creating a cycle that can change our mindsets and thus change our lives. Setting an intention from an Aikido standpoint is really just centering ourselves. In order to be centered, we must be calm and thus remembering our intention is a way to calm ourselves down. On average, we must do something 21 times in a row for it to become a habit. So, we can see that if we miss even one day then the counter restarts. Our success is primarily up to us. Every morning set your intention so that you can become the person you want to be. Likewise, shoshin wasuru bekarazu  or don’t forget to remind yourself throughout the day, so that you don’t forget where it is you want to go.

Today’s goal: Think about something you want to do, become or change. Create a 3- 5 word intention and read it out loud every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed.      

Thank Your Enemies

Give thanks for your enemies because they are your best teachers.

Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day so give thanks for your enemies because they are your best teachers. Appreciating one’s enemies seems kind of irrational because many of us use hate and anger as the fuel to combat them. At a higher level, we realize that our enemies can bring out the best in us. When they present themselves, they also present us with an opportunity. The philosophical quote, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” means is that when we are hungry enough to learn, the lesson will present itself. Understanding this, everything, every person, every situation and even our enemies can serve as our teachers. What every person learns is different because it depends on where we find ourselves on the path of life. Today, it seems as if nature itself is our teacher and, gratefully, our enemy COVID-19 is bringing us a great many lessons. Generally, the lesson can be wherever we are experiencing the most suffering. To uncover the lesson, we only need to ask ourselves, “Why?” “Why?” leads us to the deeper root of the pain, frustration, or suffering and thus we realize the real enemy is not without but within. O’Sensei said, “Be grateful even for hardship, setbacks, and bad people. Dealing with such obstacles is an essential part of training in the art of peace.” The philosophy of Aikido is based upon the concepts of non-violence and harmony. Striving for harmony with our attacker enables us to see that they are not the opponent at all and then we can see that teacher is in everything. The founder of tea ceremony, Sen Rikyu wrote, “Fight your shame. Throw out your pride and learn all you can from others. This is the basis of a successful life.” Years from now, people will ask, “So what did you learn from the 2020 COVID crisis?” Hopefully, we will have learned many great lessons and used those lessons to change our lives for the better. Today, please appreciate your teachers for they will not last forever and be gone before you know it.  

Today’s goal: Thank your enemies today for all their help.    

May the Fourth Be With You

A true warrior always has hope. People often think that a samurai loves death, but this is far from the truth. A true warrior trains to accept their circumstances and the inevitability that they are going to die. Having this mindset actually teaches them how to live in the moment because they realize that yesterday is gone and there is no guarantee of a tomorrow. No matter how dark things seem, we must have hope. Desmond Tutu said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” To truly live, we must have hope and therefore hope is a choice and so it is a mindset. In battle and in life, we are confronted with many obstacles and some might seem insurmountable. If we allow ourselves to give in to the despair, we will surely be beaten. It is interesting that the first Star Wars movie to be released, albeit being Episode IV, was titled A New Hope and that the last one was The Rise of Skywalker. One unintended reason could be that everyone’s journey is about change and to have change we must have hope. The title of the last movie parallels Rey stating that she is a Skywalker illustrates that no matter who we start out as or what our circumstances might be, we must choose to be who we are and that begins with hope. The force or Ki (氣) flows through us all, but that energy is neither good nor bad. It is our choice to use it for good or evil. Joseph Campbell wrote, “The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.” Aikido trains us to be in harmony with that power. Like the characters in Star Wars who have passed on, I know that our friend Steven Shaw is with all of us and is celebrating with a beer. So have hope on your journey, be at one with the universe and “May the force be with you.”    

Today’s goal: Think about what hope means to you on your journey.  

A Warrior Trains Themselves To Let Go

Do not hold your sword too tightly. If we grip the sword too tightly then we can’t use the sword properly and we also run the risk of fatigue and in battle fatigue is fatal. Conversely, if we hold the sword too weak then we can’t generate power and our opponent can also easily knock it out of our hands and that could be fatal too. In the beginning of our training, we are trying to learn how to “control” the sword and most hold the sword too strongly. As we train, we learn just how much strength is necessary to generate the most amount of power or we learn the best way to “control” the sword. At its highest level, swordsmanship is not about learning how to kill but learning how to put the sword down. Budo is really about learning how to let go and thus training is actually the search for inner peace. One of the biggest barriers to our serenity is the illusion that we are in control and that there is certainty. In Japanese, the illusion of control and desire for certainty is akin to being “taken hold of” by something or torawarete (囚われて). In training, we realize that we can only control ourselves and what happens outside of ourselves is for the most part out of our control and thus we cannot be certain of anything. Furuya Sensei often recounted some wise words by his Zen master, “nothing happens as you like.” Thus, the best warriors do not hold their swords too tightly because in battle and in life, there are no certainties. Learning to let go is the key to self-mastery and living a fulfilled life. The monk Ryokan said it best, “To find inner peace, be still the mind and let go. Live in the now. Breathe.”

Today’s goal: Find something that you are trying to control. Take a few breaths in and breathe out and let it go.   

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”

— Tony Schwartz

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on January 10, 2003.

“We think that Aikido is power, as in our own power, but it is not. We think that money is power, but it is not. We think that right over wrong is power, but it is not. We think that holding a gun or sword is power, but it is not. This is a very common delusion we all hold. There is only Nature's power and we do not possess it.”

Don't Blink

A good warrior never blinks. A good warrior is supposed to always be balanced which means they are focused and alert, but also calm and relaxed. We see this balance demonstrated in not only their posture and demeanor but also in the state of their eyes. Miyamoto Musashi referred to this when he said, “Do not roll your eyes nor allow them to blink, but slightly narrow them.” It might seem unreasonable to think that a person could somehow keep themselves from blinking, but this is just an adage that is supposed to remind us to develop a spirit which is not easily perturbed. Being imperturbable means that we are not easily distracted or surprised. It is said that, “The eyes are the windows to our s0ul” and so our eyes can reveal the extent of our inner state of being and our true level of inner development. When we have reached a certain level of training or development then our minds become calm and balanced and this is apparent in our eyes which have a sense of quietness and are narrower with whites that are mainly visible on the sides of the iris. The calmer and more poised we are then we are less apt to be distracted or surprised and thus a good warrior doesn’t blink easily. Today, it can be difficult to keep our poise in the face of adversity, but this is part of our training. Furuya Sensei said, “The only proof that we have mastered Aikido or, at least, have begun to understand its principles, is the degree to which we have incorporated it into our lives.” Keep calm, stay focused and don’t blink, no matter what happens.

Today’s goal: When something good or bad happens, take a breath, relax your jaw and narrow your gaze and try not to blink.  

Calmness

Calmness is not a skill

Happy 72nd Birthday Furuya Sensei

Happy Birthday Reverend Kensho Furuya Sensei. Today would have been your 72nd birthday.

“Those that leave their teachers early will feel a great deal of regret in their later years. They will say, ‘Too bad I didn't study harder and learn a little more from them!’ or ‘Too bad I didn't stay with that teacher much longer and learn more.’ or ‘Too bad they are no longer here.’ If we think this, it is already too late! As long as I have studied with some of my teachers for so many years, I still miss them very much! And even with this, I think that I should have studied much more. When we find a good teacher don't lose them. They are like treasures and you will always regret it later. I am not talking as a teacher now, I am talking as another old, long time student…” - Rev. Kensho Furuya

Don't Take Anything For Granted

“There is no greater danger than underestimating an opponent.” Lao Tzu

Furuya Sensei once wrote, “No precision, no focus, no center.” What he alludes to is that without precision we cannot lead lives that are balanced, focused and filled with success. In budo training, we learn seido (精度) or “precision” because the techniques can be quite lethal and in battle we cannot take anything for granted. If we underestimate our opponent, then our hubris may lead to our downfall. If we underestimate our own abilities, then we take ourselves for granted and then we can be overtaken by our challengers. Sun Tzu said, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” Understanding this, to be successful, we must be aware. With training and awareness, we can realize O’Sensei’s assertion that, “There are no opponents in Aikido.” There are no opponents because we realize that we are actually our greatest opponent, and thus no real opponent exists. If we are the only true opponent, then we are really underestimating ourselves and that lack of awareness can lead to our downfall. Lack of awareness can lead to taking things and people for granted and this underestimation can lead to pain, regret, loss and hurt feelings. A person of budo strives for precision so that they can become aware of even the smallest detail because they know that awareness can lead to gratefulness and that thankfulness brings us a happier and more balanced life. Don’t underestimate your opponents.   

Today’s goal: Tell someone that you are grateful for something that they have done for you.

Everything Has Its Own Nature

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on March 4, 2002.

Everything has its own nature. Bamboo requires so much water that we cannot even imagine how much we have to water it. Bamboo's nature is to thrive on water. However, the orchid is completely different, it thrives on less water. One (bamboo) we must flood with water and enough is never enough. Some students demand tremendous amounts of attention and direction. The other (orchid) we should not water at all and in doing so we allow it to search for water itself in the dry soil which enables it to become strong and flourish.

A Warrior Can Ask For Help

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” – Cesar Chavez

Success in any endeavor requires us to be good at collaboration and so we must be good at asking for help. In class, when we ask someone to train with us, we say, “onegaishimasu.” In this context, onegaishimasu (お願いします) means “Please do me this favor.” In Aikido, the techniques are our vehicle towards the mastery of Aikido and thus we need someone else’s help achieve that. A true warrior is a good collaborator and a good collaborator only needs to master these four phrases: “I am wrong,” “I am sorry,” “I love you,” and “I need help.” These four phrases can be very difficult to sincerely say but being able to honestly say them demonstrates our true character. If we can admit that we are wrong, it reveals our level of humility and shows that we are aware of our strengths and weaknesses. To honestly apologize shows that we live with integrity and can own up to our mistakes. To sincerely say “I love you” shows what is truly in our hearts and that we care about others. To ask for help is probably the hardest thing to say because we can fake all the others, but we cannot fake asking for help. Also asking for help is hard because we somehow think it is a sign of weakness but to ask for help is probably one’s ultimate show of strength. Thus, every technique we practice with our partner begins with, “onegaishimasu.” None of us exist in a vacuum and we all need help at some time or another. A true warrior knows that asking for help shows their real level of awareness, humility and integrity, but it also shows what is truly in their hearts. Being vulnerable is not defeat or weakness, but rather showing what is truly in our hearts is the ultimate strength. Onegaishimasu.   

Today’s goal: Can you ask someone for help or can you give someone some help who needs assistance?

Touch Your Weapons Every Day

身から出た錆
Remove the rust from your blade

Don’t let your weapons rust, handle them every day. Furuya Sensei used to admonish us by saying, “Touch your weapons every day.” We aren’t forced to confront the line between life and death every day, so the idea is that, as humans, we have the tendency to forget. If we neglect our bodies or our weapons for even a day then we may accidentally forgo them for much longer and thus, when we need them, they will be rusty. In college, I read a study that the average professional athlete starts to lose conditioning after 10 days of inactivity. This is incredible and those people are on average in their late twenties and in a sense, they begin to rust. Even during the Tour de France, the riders still ride on the rest days to keep their legs from getting stiff or they ride so that they don’t rust. Today, life seems to go by so fast. One day turns into a week and a week into a month and without even realizing it, a year has passed. The only way to slow this down is with mindfulness. When we handle our weapons, we are mindful and we are in the present. In order to not forget with our bodies, we must remember our training by moving our bodies. In order to not forget how our weapons feel then we must touch them every day. By picking up our weapons every day, even for a moment, we remember who we are. This memory is the mindfulness which prevents our minds and our bodies from rusting. Don’t forget how your weapons feel, touch them to prevent them from rusting. Remove the rust and don’t forget!     

Today’s goal: Pick up your weapons and swing them around even if it is for just a moment.

We Fail to the Level of Our Training

“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations; we fall to the level of our training.” Archilochus

Behave like a martial artist. To behave means “to act or conduct oneself in a specified way, especially toward others.” This leads us to understand that following the way of budo or “the martial arts” is a behavior that is as much mental as it is physical. Most things have already been codified into a set of steps or the skills that when mastered can bring about success. In Japanese, these skills are called kihon (基本) or “basics.” When we train in Aikido, we train to develop the basic movements which in turn develop us physically, but while we are creating order within our movements, we are also creating order within ourselves. Training then forges us both physically and mentally which creates behaviors which are the best tools for one’s success. The Greek poet Archilochus alludes to this when he said, “We don’t rise to the level of our expectations; we fall to the level of our training.” How we prepare ourselves creates the opportunity for our success and thus a martial artist fails to the level of their preparation. The behavior of “being” a martial artist benefits us both in the dojo and in all aspects of our lives. Furuya Sensei said, “The only proof that we have mastered Aikido or, at least, have begun to understand its principles, is the degree to which we have incorporated it into our lives.” In budo, there is a saying, “everything you do matters.” How we behave reflects on our dojo, on our teacher, on our training, and on our art. Thus, how we do anything is how we do everything and so everything we do matters. Behave like a martial artist.

Today’s goal: Ask yourself, “Is this how a martial artist acts?”

Command Spacing and Timing

The best warriors are always in command of spacing and timing.  

In swordsmanship, the proper distance between us and our opponent is referred to as issoku itto no maai (一刀一足の間合い) or “the distance for one step and cut.” Issoku itto no maai can be shortened to ittoma or “one cut spacing.” Generally, the proper safe distance is about six feet. Coincidentally, most western made tatami are 3 feet by 6 feet. The theory is that if we can keep the spacing at about 6 feet then we can simultaneously attack our opponent but also safely stave off their attack. In the beginning the proper spacing is an actual measurement, but later it becomes more of an intuitive feeling. At one’s highest level, ittoma is more mental than it is physical because maintaining the proper distancing is really an exercise in restraint. Can we have the self-control to only attack when the spacing is right but also have enough self-discipline to not step into our opponent’s ittoma. At our highest level, we are supposed to be in control of the spacing and timing of any situation. Furuya Sensei once wrote, “Watch the spacing first because spacing is not only to negotiate the opponent’s attack by establishing proper distancing, but this spacing also greatly influences the proper Timing of the technique.” Thus, if we can control the spacing then we can control the timing and if we control timing then we are automatically in control of the spacing.  

Today it is an interesting coincidence that the proper social distance spacing is 6 feet and this can conveniently dovetail into a training tool for us. One difficulty in modern training is that it lacks danger. Now, the danger is real and we can use this this danger to help us train in keeping the proper spacing and thus it is as Sensei said that, “Everything is training.” Controlling our spacing helps us to be vigilant, diligent and safe. Maintain your issoku itto no maai!

Today’s goal: Discipline yourself to maintain your social distancing.  

Throwback Thursday: Furuya Sensei Daily Message from October 24, 2002

Throwback Thursday

Furuya Sensei posted this to his Daily Message on October 24, 2002.

I often think that there are two realities. One reality is the hard facts of life that we are on our own and have to deal with life with our own bare hands in the here and now. But I think there is another reality as well. It is one which we can't touch or control, it is the reality that there are many powers and influences upon our lives which keep us well and keep us going and these come from the people and things all around us. At the same time, when we are alone, we are also not alone, there are many people here by our sides and we receive their power every minute of the day. When we try to realize love in this hard world, I think it is very difficult because it is part of the other reality. Occasionally, we can make this "cross over" where both worlds link together. Aikido is another way to link both worlds of the here and now and this other reality where we are completely at the mercy of something higher, more powerful and mysterious, and far beyond our understanding and scope. In our practice, we should learn to see both worlds as one. This is not easy and about as hard as trying to make love work. Please try your best every day anyways!

Accept Things As They Are

Life and budo training teach us to accept things just as they are.

In the beginning of training, we program ourselves to see only our opponent’s weaknesses and their tendencies or in other words we see the bad in them. However, this method of “seeing” sometimes becomes something we have difficulty turning off and it can accidentally become our daily outlook. Later in our training, we start to see the similar things inherent in us in our opponents and thus we begin to see the good in them but that too can become our normal perspective. At the pinnacle of our training, we no longer see things or people as good or bad but just as they are. Seeing things as good or bad is merely a judgment and many times it is not the reality. Shakespeare once wrote, “Nothing is either right or wrong but thinking makes it so.” it is then our perspective which creates our false sense of reality. Understanding this, we realize that the reality is often times much too complicate and convoluted, so it is not necessarily something to understand but something to just accept. O’Sensei said, “True Budo is to accept the spirit of the universe, keep the peace the world, correctly produce, protect and cultivate all beings in nature.” Thus, the true pinnacle of one’s training or life is just acceptance. When we can accept things just as they are then we can live a life free of judgements of others and ourselves and thus live a calm and centered life.

Today’s goal: Do your best to accept things just as they are.

Read the Air

“Develop intuitive judgement and understanding in everything.” Musashi Miyamoto

A good warrior can intuitively read the air. In Japanese when someone can intuitively anticipate something they say, kuki wo yomeru (空氣を読める) or that they are able “to read the air.” A warrior can be successful if they are able to anticipate their opponent’s next move. To know what is coming next enables us to be at the right place at the right time in order defend or attack our opponent. This “knowing” is not only apropos for the battlefield but it is extremely useful in one’s daily life. However, to anticipate is more than a “knowing,” it is almost an intuitive feeling of what is most likely to come next. That is because when we are anticipating, we are actually supposed to be using our intuition which is action without conscious thought and hence it is as if we are “reading the air.” This is something that we use every day as we drive, catch, walk or care for others. To learn to read the air takes training and we usually receive this training when we take ukemi or at the higher levels with our teachers as we try and anticipate their needs, but we can also do it with our friends and loved ones. At the root of intuition is caring. If we care enough then we try and do our best and that means trying to anticipate what someone might need or want. Doing something before we are asked shows that we care but it also shows that we were being attentive. The best people are those who seem to be able to “know” what the right thing is that needs to be done at the right time and are thus usually the most successful. Being able to “read the air” is a very high level martial arts technique.       

Today’s goal: Try and anticipate someone else’s needs before they ask you.

There are No Shoulds

“Do not think of work, any work, as a duty. If it is a duty, then it will become a burden to you. How do you turn a burden into a pleasure? Live respectfully, correctly and boldly.” - Nakamura Tempu

Do you ever get corrected when using the word “should” or do you ever find yourself directing someone to do something by telling that they “should” do it only to be corrected  with, “there are no should.” For the longest time, it was hard for me to figure out what it was they were implying. The word “should” is defined as a word “used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions.” The definition of “should” alludes to this understanding that its use is about control. Therefore, if we do something because we “should” then we are typically not doing it because we want to. If we are in control of ourselves, and we are because we have free will, then whatever it is that we do is because it is our choice. Thus, everything that we do is because we “want” to without any outside obligation or influence. Likewise, when we tell someone that they “should” do something there is an element of control in our request. Somethings are out of our control or we are obligated to do them, but we can take back our control by substituting “should” with “choose” or “want.” Training in budo is hard work, but that doesn’t mean it has to be horrible work. In order to turn a burden into a pleasure, all we have to do is reaffirm ourselves that it is our choice and so we “choose” to do it or that we do it because we “want” to. Today, while you have the chance, it would be nice if you chose something that you want to do and made best use of your time.       

Today’s goal: Spend the day thinking about what it is that you want and make sure it is not because someone else wants it.